FWB, should I just let it go?
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|Tue, 11-27-2012 - 1:45am|
Well, I don't know quite where to start. I've been lurking about the boards for a few days and hope I am posting this in the right board.
Intro: I am female, never married and I don't have any kids (by choice). I had been in a toxic relationship but with the help of my family, I got out and that was in 2008. Never looked back! End of story.
Well, I met met a man through a friend at work and it was understood from the beginning that we are FWB. I am (or was?) fine with that because I was still skiddish about the last relationship but let's face it, we have 'needs'...and self-satisfaction only goes so far. I'm sorry if TMI but for me it's the truth.
Well, lately, as you could guess, I've been developing feelings other than that of 'casual' but they are fading fast...
Let me explain a few things:
1. He got fired (I don't know reason) and it has been close to a year and has yet to find work. He has not really tried, and he felt that he could do his photography as full time. It's not working out quite as expected.
2. He recently told me that he wants to try out the 'nomadic lifestyle' and I just found out while he was on a 'trial run with a rental RV' that he was in another state for a week.
3. That was fine (good for him if it works out) but the other day when he got back, he slipped while talking to me, and said "we" a couple times. Then he flipped back to "I" and "me" statements.
4. I casually asked if he went alone or with a group of people or someone ... he said after a slight pause that he and a girl were out RVing for a week.
5. I brushed it off - trying to ignore my ever-growing feelings. But those feelings soon disipated when:
So, there we are, after having our romp, I showed him some photos that I recently took - he seemed disinterested and then flipped out his ipad and shoved it in my face showing the photos he took while RVing, completely interrupting me. This was not the first time he's done that either. I tried to 'ignore' approach but he just talked over me. So I kept going over mine, then finished. I looked at the pictures he took and told him they were nice but I didn't gush over them either.
He then told me of his plans about his RVing life he wants to follow through within a month. Get an RV for about 18,000 - 20,000. He explained all the computer equipment he wishes to purchase to make sure he can still do his gaming and computer-related stuff (he used to work in computer industry). He also showed me all the computer 'things' he recently purchased as well as more photography equipment. I then asked what his plans were for a job to keep up the lifestyle (after all you need money to upkeep whatever liftstyle you choose). He told me he just wants to roam around the U.S. and find photography jobs or computer jobs and he said he's confident he will find something and his first stop might be California because he has a lot of connections there. He wants a projection screen for the RV so he could keep his 60 inch to 100 inch TV capability, etc.
There's more but not pertinent.
personally, after listening to him for the past few days and his plans, it sounds like he just wants to almost 'avoid' life or avoid getting a stable job. He had said he felt like he was going through a mid life crisis, etc.
I understand these things as I am going through some things myself - to say the least - but the more we talked, the more I got the feeling he is going off the grid (actually his own words) and dropping out of society so to speak.
Well, I realize we are a FWB and that will fade in time, if he actually goes through with his plans, and perhaps that will be all she wrote between him and me. After I think of all the things he has done -nothing physical or abusive towards me - but being rude, self-centered, having sex to please his needs more so, or when I have had conversation with him, he will try to dispell whatever I say and either disagree and come up with something like, 'can you prove it' or 'no that's not right, theoretically it is actually....' type of come backs with him.
I am thinking that if he does leave on his little RV adventure, then just let him go, no looking back, emailing or calling. Chalk it up to another lesson learned and be done...
How would you perceive this? Should I just let it go? Does he just sound 'flighty' and self absorbed to even not bother?
Sorry this is long - but any suggestions or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.