Guy looking for advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2006
Guy looking for advice
39
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 11:04pm
Hello. I'm new and I'm not sure if I should be posting this here, so try not to rip into me too bad. I read some of the stuff on sosuave.com and then I read some of the stuff that is on iVillage and I am confused to say the least. The guys over there say that you should be cocky and funny and a bit of a jerk to woo women. Women here say that is all wrong. I don't want to be a jerk, but I hate being a doormat for women. Finding a balance is hard, but the middle path seems like the best option. How many of you women prefer to be with someone that has more "nice" then "bad boy" in him?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Tue, 04-25-2006 - 11:31pm

Mr Universe,

I can see how it can be confusing for a male. I want a man who will open the door for me but I don't want a doormat. I like a man who stands his ground and can put me back in my place sometimes but isn't cocky or arrogant.

From an Australian perspective where the norm is to date someone exclusively and not have to have multiple partners, I like a man who shows me he likes me by sending me text messages and ringing me everyday. I have noticed across the boards that there seems to be this belief that if a man pays attention to a woman, this is considered a 'red flag'. I don't quite understand why this is so. I'm not attracted to men who play it cool with me. I like attention and like to feel wanted but this does not mean that I'm needy, clingy or insecure.

It takes a woman with a healthy self esteem to accept the love of a good man and visa versa. In my experience, I've noticed that men also like to be treated badly and it is hard to find a man who can be treated well without him taking you for granted or prefer to go out with b*tches and I refuse to treat anyone badly.

I guess it is the difference between going out with a woman or a little girl or in my case, a man or a little boy.

Feisty

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2002
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 1:17am

I prefer to be with someone who is *himself* - honest, straight-forward, no game-playing. If he's a bad-boy type, he'll attract women who like bad-boys. If he's the nice type, he'll attract women who like nice types. A bad-boy who pretends to be nice, or a nice type who pretends to be a bad boy, now *that's* what's all wrong.

Just be yourself. You wouldn't want to attract women who don't like the real *you,* so why would you want to portray something you're not?

Msfit

                  &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2005
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 3:56am

Brother,

Here's my take on this, slutty girls will usually tend to go for the arrogant guy, nic e girls the opposite, but either way you gotta be confident, I've seen the ugliest dudes get the hottest girls just out of confidence. When you meet someone you like either youre gonna click or not click, you can try to pretend to be someone else, but do you really want to? -will

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 8:27am
I like a nice guy who is interesting and self-confident. If a guy is nice and boring that isn't going to attract me. Bad boy = a teenager trapped in a man's body. They may be fun to read about or watch on tv, but date one? No, I'd feel like a fool dating a guy like that. Besides I am only interested in dating someone that I might marry and I wouldn't marry a bad boy so I wouldn't bother to date one. Iri
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2005
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 10:50am

Just be yourself. Seriously.


Think about it, do you really want a girl that you have to change JUST to get to meet?


You could line up 100 women, and ask them what they want, and get 100 different answers. Then, you could line up the SAME 100 women a week later and get a whole other set of answers. Bottom line, different women want different things at different times in their lives. There a billions of women in the world. Chances are VERY good that there are a whle bunch who will like you for who you are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 1:01pm

Joel and Msfit are right on. Just be you and then you'll attract whoever likes YOU!!!

If you're boring don't try to be the class clown, if you're the class clown don't try to be a brianiac. If you're the kind fo guy who opens doors and pulls out chairs do it. If your'e really into a girl adn feel like calling that night or the next day then do it. If you're married to your job and don't get a chance to call for a week then wait a week.

The worst advice any man or woman can possible recieve is advice on how to "get" a partner. The God's honest turth is we are all different and the ONLY rule that REALLY works is be yourself. It's the only way to ever find someone who loves you for you, flaws and all. We all got 'em no point trying to sweep them under the rug or be something we aren't because it'll only back fire later.

And if you don't know who YOU are then stop dating and start acting like yourself until you do know who you are. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 3:08pm

ok well I guess its my turn for my 2 cents worth. First of all, forget about if you should post here or not. You have that freedom, thats why we love the boards. I have expierenced both. My ex husband was that bad boy rebel jerk that I found attractive at first. I never wanted to introduce him to my mom because of that and ended up marrying him and having 3 kids with the guy. Keyword is MY EX and those are the reasons why. I am now remarried to a guy that opens doors for me, hold my head when I puek, kisses my forehead while Im asleep and really treats me like a lady. Im 25 and he is 33. I couldn't be happier.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 4:06pm

It's not about being cocky, arrogant or nice guy or bad boy.

It's about being confident and fun, that's the ticket.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 4:55pm
I have recently met a man that is not my normal "dating" material. I adore him though. He is everything that I have been looking for. He does have a few things that I am not use to But for him I over look those flaws. They are small and for everything else that I have found out about him its nothing. Flaws make the man he is. So be yourself someone will adore that. keep lookin and good luck. Just dont give up hope.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2006
Wed, 04-26-2006 - 7:55pm

I date the nice guys. I like dating guys that are really sweet.

I hate guys that are cocky and obnoxious. They really get under my skin. I can't stand them. I become really belligerent around them. I am usually a quite person.

Believe me when I say this do not change who you are. Girls will like the fact that you are comfortable with yourself more than anythings. About being the whole doormat thing. Just dump or do not date those type of girls.

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