he dumped me :-(
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| Thu, 03-27-2003 - 11:13am |
Out of nowhere he tells me that he wants to break up. He said that he started to feel pressured. That I’m too special of a person to be wishy washy with and he needs to figure out what he wants to do. I was shocked! I don’t understand how he felt pressured when he was the one taking the lead on everything. I liked where he was leading me to, so I happily followed.
Now I don’t know what to do. Clearly there is nothing I can do. He has to be the one to decide what he wants. This all happened two weeks ago. He called me twice since then to reassure me that it’s not me and that he needs to figure out what he wants. He hasn’t returned my clothing and he hasn’t asked for the keys to his place; but I’m going crazy!! I miss him so much! Has this happened to anyone of you?
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He either 1) needs his space (so don't call him...seriously, just leave him be. This is the time for you to think about if he was giving you everything you wanted, etc.), or he's 2) scared of commitment. Very common. They go in head strong (sounds like him), definitey pursuing you, wanting a relationship, and then BOOM! They're done. They can't give anymore because they are incapable of doing just that (read: "He's Scared, She's Scared." VERY helpful book).
But no matter what, give him his space. Allow him to miss you. He will either 1) come back or 2)never come back. Understand that ALL of us go through this kind of break-up/heartache. It's common, and it makes us stronger people (I speak from experience).
Go to the Mending Broken Hearts board. Everyone there will help you. There's nothing wrong with you, don't worry. Understand that things were going too fast for him (his decision, I know) and that he went too fast and got in too deep. This happens all the time.
Use this time to your advantage. Keep yourself busy. Take up a new hobby (seriously...I did, and it HELPED). Talk to your friends, family, etc. But don't talk to him. Not to be mean, but to give him that space. Don't ask for your stuff back, and don't try to return his. He knows you have it. Don't worry.
I know it hurts, but it happens to all of us. Keep posting.
Katie