Is he saying something with his silence?
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|Fri, 10-03-2003 - 12:46pm|
Things were wonderful up until a month ago. I accepted a gift of money from an old male friend. Bruce's sister felt he needed to know and told him without telling me that she did this. He had known about it for months. Last month I decided I should tell him myself. Although nothing was involved other than the friend lending me the money, I felt I should tell him. However as I started telling Bruce, I realized that the timing was not right. It was on the phone and I wanted to tell him in person. He lives 500 miles away and we make an effort to see each other every two weeks. I began the conversation by asking him if he felt it was deceptive that I was emailing this old friend. He wanted to know if there was anything else to the story. Since I decided to wait until it was in person, I told him no. He asked me again?? Again I said no. Then he revealed that he had known about the money and felt totally betrayed by not only accepting this gift while I was dating him, but by not telling him the complete truth. He was sooo dissapointed in me. He thought that he could competely trust me. I left him alone for a week. That is when he told me that he was numb. He hated feeling that way, but he was just totally numb and HE NEEDED MORE TIME. However he warned, that after some time, he may only be able to be friends.
I started crying and trying to justify why I took it, and tried to minimize my reason, however he said I was only digging my self in deeper. He had to go.
I left him alone. A week later, I wrote him and said I accept full responsibility for this. If friendship is all he can offer, I will offer my friendship in return.
A few days later, I wrote him another email telling him that although I made some mistakes I was always so loyal to him. I appreciate him. NO reponse.
A week later, I wrote him a simple email, telling him that I was soo wrong for accepting the money, I was soo wrong to not be truthful and I promise I would never lie to him again. I hope as in time, we can restart this relationship.
Now....Bruce is a total stand up guy. He is very focused and mature. One of the reasons I was attracted to him. I also am driving his truck PLUS I am very close friends with his family especially two of his sisters. They set us up. I can't beleive that he would just walk away. We defintitely had plans of marriage and future, right up until the night this all came out.
I have no plans to contact him further. I feel that he definitely wants his space. And of course I am very well aware of the Cliche's "If he is meant to be...yadda yadda yadda!"
Today is his birthday. It is killing me. I have also asked his two sisters not to mention anything in regards to our relationship to him. If he wants to discuss it with them, I again asked that they keep it between them. I don't want to hear anything through them.
He has never called or said..."Jus..this is over." Is his silence because he is still thinking? Or is it a clue for me to move on???
What is your take?
Thanks for the advice.