he won't open up to me

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
he won't open up to me
Wed, 04-16-2003 - 9:33pm
I've been seeing this guy for about 4 weeks now, we've been spending quite a bit of time togethor, we've slept togethor and are really getting to know eachother. I really like him and think i could fall in love with him... he acts the same way, we stare into eachothers eyes and its all really romantic.

Anyway, he has had a few girlfriends in the past whereas i have slept with a few people but only had one serious boyfriend. We both stopped seeing our last ones roughly 4 months ago. He gets sms messages and his phone is constantly beeping and ringing, i was suspicious of it being his ex.. and he has told me that it is and that she sends him abusive messages because he won't speak to her and wants nothing to do with her and she wants to be friends, apparently.

We know some mutual friends and i have met her out a couple times, we've talked and she seems really nice, she has told me that she thinks im cool and wants us to be friends and trevor (the guy) just to be happy. She seems so genuine to me..

Trevor knows we have spoken and just says for me to be careful kinda cos she 'isnt all there' in his words. anyway, the thing is.. he got a bit distant the other night and i was asking him whats wrong, eventually he left to go home and i got it out of him thru text messages, he said he was sorry and he shouldnt have overreacted (cos he just went all quiet and went home) so anyway, he said that he had a lot on his plate at the moment and was looking for more affection and i wasnt paying much attention to him. awwwwww i thought that was cute.

so we talked about it and he explained that he bottles things up and he doesnt talk about his problems so i cant know... i tried to get it out of him but he was stubborn and simply says that he doesnt talk about it, and it isnt just work problems.

so im like ok i wont ask.. but now im worried about it being his ex or something.. i dont know whats going on and i dont even know where i stand with him , if we are boyfriend, girlfriend or what?

I've had issues with my ex boyfriend ever since we broke up also cos we were togethor 3 years and living togethor so it was all very serious and he still loves me. Anyway trevor knows that my ex calls me and theres been a few problems but its ok now, my ex is seeing someone else!

I am 20 and he's 22..

We've made plans to see eachother this weekend and stuff and its getting more and more like we are a couple, i just want him to talk to me..

please tell me how to deal with this!