HELP Is this guy falling for me or using

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2010
HELP Is this guy falling for me or using
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 9:01pm

Is this guy falling for me or trying to avoid me?
the story is long but here it is

I have been friends with this guy for about 3 years and was dating and living with my ex at the time. About 2 years ago, we started having sex once and awile when things got bad with my ex. During this period, this guy made comments about wanting to be with me and me telling him the same thing. We talked on the phone alot and met up once and a wile for friends with benefits type sex.

So about 4 months ago I finally left my ex. I am 24 and this guy is 34. He has been married once but has no kids and left because she was unfaithful and he has been alone for 5 years that ive known him because he has been hurt so much. So these past 4 months is what is getting me so mixed up. I have had deep feelings for him for at least a year now. These past 4 months we have met up for sex and talk on the phone. I havent specifically asked him how he feels for me. But like the past 2 months the sex has changed. Our sex for the last 2 1/2 years was quick so not to get caught and just fun sex nothing specific. Lately though when we meet up, he acts different. When we meet for just other types of sexual fun, he is all of a sudden kissing my neck, getting closer like grabbing me and leaning real close on me to kiss my neck. During actual sex, it is also seems more intense like kissing my neck and body, doing whatever possible to get me to get off, if he is having a hard time getting an erection, i see in his eyes frustration. During sex, he also has lately been staring deep in my eyes.

Even the other day he pushed me up against my car touching me staring deep in my eyes. Another time we were in the woods and I got leafs in my hair and he took every one of them out of my hair for me. When i call, if i need anything, money to borrow-he lets me. If I need help with something, he will come to help. and he will call me when he needs help.

The only problem I have is are these signs that he is getting a stronger emotional feelings for me? Because after every one of these meets we have, he then avoids calling me or taking my calls for a few days after. Then after those few days he will answer my calls, or call me back from a message, and we will talk sometimes for an hour or so about everything.

My main question is is this man falling for me and avoids me after these emotional and physical encounters out of fear of those feelings he has and maybe is scared I dont feel like he does and backs down during those days.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 10:12pm



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2010
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 11:27pm

well awile ago he would say he wanted to be with me, get to know me and if things were going good move in together. I also have told him i wanted to be with him.
Lately, he has made some comments: he is a good guy, and hasnt been with anyone in years, yet he has made comments that we would be talking on the phone and he does question if i have been with anyone lately, and then jokes about having sex with other girls, and if i dont say anything, he will say, are you saying you want me to be true to you and only you. And me getting nervous about being rejected says no, i never said that.

Anyway he makes comments like these to me, and if I respond as if I care, he responds in a way like that about him being just for me, but i get so nervous about rejection, that i blow it off and act like i dont care. yet if he doesnt hear from me after a week, when i kinda play his game, he calls to see how ive been doing because he hasnt heard from me.

so i dont know, things like this make me think he is interested in more, but is also afrraid of rejection and wont come flat out and say he is or isnt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 10:05am

And me getting nervous about being rejected says no, i never said that.

but i get so nervous about rejection, that i blow it off and act like i dont care.

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 10:40am
Next time he ask these questions, you need to be honest with him. Ask him how he feels about you. The longer you wait the more it may hurt.

friendscopy.jpg picture by nhgal2006

"Never take someone for granted. Hold every person
close to your heart because you might wake up
one day and realize that you've lost a diamond
while you were too busy collecting stones."

28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006