Help - He totally knocked me off cloud9.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2011
Help - He totally knocked me off cloud9.
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 1:53pm

Hey all,

I would love your advice. I am going to try to keep this short because I know not everyone has time to read a novel.

I started dating a guy 6 weeks ago. Everything was going perfectly. He was pursuing me, calling everyday, making plans for dates.. our chemistry was unreal. Three days ago, he finally told me how much he liked me and how he was excited to see where this goes. He was a little tipsy when he said this, and we all know a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. :)

Anyway, we were headed off to such a great start. I have literally been on cloud 9, and really was thinking we were going to have the "let's be in a relationship" talk soon. We talk daily, often multiple times a day.

Yesterday, we were talking about how we were excited to spend the weekend together and were making plans... and then 4 hours later, I got an email from him... saying that while he really liked me, and that we had great chemistry.. that he really needs to focus on medical school right now. He feels distracted and overwhelmed with his studies and wants to focus more, and that he didnt think it'd be a good idea for us to date eachother anymore.

I was shocked! So out of the blue.. I was pretty upset.. and after calling him, he continued to tell me it wasn't me, but just that he needed to focus on his career and he wasn't sure he could handle our new relationship and medical school at the same time.

Do you think he just got scared? Commitment issue?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 3:57pm

Hmm. I tend to agree that dwelling on "why" will get you nowhere. You will talk yourself in circles.

Six weeks into dating someone is what I consider a probationary stage. It's a stage where, if things don't pan out, it's not the end of the world and it doesn't need to be overanalyzed. People either gel or they don't, and sometimes you never both quite get to the same page with one another. It's not that shocking when you consider the fact that he is a guy you just barely started to get to know.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 2:29pm

Tough to be blindsided like that.