He's away & i have a quick Question...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
He's away & i have a quick Question...
13
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 12:30pm

Hey there! Quick question for you guys. My new boyfriend had some family

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2011
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 4:02pm

PLEASE don't get desperate and text or call - wrong move.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 5:44pm

Donna, if the two of you grow distant because you don't talk for a week, then the relationship doesn't have much foundation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 5:49pm
Cham... Don't get desperate or what will happen? He's my boyfriend, not just a guy I'm dating LOL. True, you have an excellent point and I agree. Thank you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2011
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 6:40pm

You didn't give a lot of info - like how long have you been bf/gf - months, years and I don't know how old you guys are

If I was in a relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 7:05pm
Been together a month and we are both 30. I don't have anything to worry about but I can't help but think a lot and make more out of it than there is because I went through a very horrible and traumatic split from my ex husband and some of that emotional damage I am still learning to cope with today. My boyfriend has done nothing to make me feel something is wrong, it's just that it's not like him to not text me when he says he will. Like I said before, we have gone a few days without speaking before and then he eventually contacted me. But, this was before we were official.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2011
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 7:26pm

Okay, okay - its only a month and you are 30 - I was at your age when I divorsed my first husband and I was scared and knew that I didn't want the same type of relationship again - I understand emotional damage

This is what I did with my second husband - been married since I was 33 or 34 - can't remember now - LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Fri, 04-06-2012 - 9:00pm

You went through the same thing that I am going through and have thought the same way that I do. I feel so much better knowing that there's someone out there that understands exactly what's going on inside of my head. A lot of emotional damage which I am currently getting counseling for but I don't want what I went through in the past to affect me now. We actually became serious because I started to become hard to get and distant. That just brought him closer to me and to where we are now. I

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2011
Sat, 04-07-2012 - 4:53pm

I don't know how to explain this to you - AND I didn't realize then what I was doing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2011
Sat, 04-07-2012 - 5:02pm

The issue in todays world is you guys sleep together so fast and us as women get emotionally attached - when they don't

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
Sat, 04-07-2012 - 5:39pm
Yea I am the same way. So afraid of going through the same experience as before all over again. The issue before was rushing which I don't wanna do again and my bf has helped me with that. We waited to have sex and have taken our time so far so that helps me tremendously. I need to work on the not being available all the time part. I obviously still have fears because of my past with my ex and that's what makes me fret now that I haven't heard from my bf in a few days. It's because I've been so emotionally damaged and went through hell and back. I didn't even want to go out with him at first. I delayed our 1st date twice because he's not my type and then once I finally have in and gave him a chance I started falling for him. I feel like he's the one because he ended up being so perfect for me and I get lost in the excitement of it all. Also there's some psycological issues going on with me when it comes to abandonment but I'm working on that with my therapist. Hopefully that feeling will eventually fade away though. But that's what's going on with me. I still haven't heard from him though and still won't text him. I refuse to bug him even though I miss him like crazy. But I'm stubborn and I will wait for him to text me. And we'll hang out on my terms when I'm ready. I was that way in the beginning with him and I noticed he was more responsive then. I assumed that once we became official that I didn't need to be that way anymore because he got me and vice versa. Guess I was wrong about that.

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