How can I tell if he is interested in me or just being nice?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2010
How can I tell if he is interested in me or just being nice?
17
Tue, 07-19-2011 - 7:26pm

I'm 24, he's 26. Not that age really matters here, but I guess it could. I work at a bank and have thought that he was cute from the first time I saw him. He is a customer so I don't want to make it awkward and so far it hasn't been. We have slowly been talking more and more when he comes in. This week has been the most we have ever talked. Here are a few reasons why I think he may be interested, but I'm not very good at telling whether guys are interested or not. I always think they are and then they only like me as a friend, and obviously since our only interaction is while I'm working, I can't really get to know him that well.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

I hear you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2010
He's not. I'm in la la land and wish that people didn't care about appearance. I am a nice girl, and get so tired of people judging me all the time. I'm not bad looking, but I am overweight. Anyone knows me tells me I'm amazing, but I'm guessing that's not enough for anyone these days because everyone is superficial. I'm just tired of dealing with the stupid "game" and never winning when I mean well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2011

Where in this FB post is he interested in you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

Uhh, I think if he was interested in you, he wouldn't be telling you that another girl is a hottie, unfortunately. He probably just thinks of you as a nice woman he does business with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

His conversation with you was about another girl ... I wouldn't take that as a sign that he is interested.

No, if he's not interested now he isn't going to change his mind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2010

I have kind of an update. We have been talking more and more. Yesterday I had the following conversation with him on Facebook. I was kind of upset at first, but now I feel like it may be turning around.

Him: Hey who is the new girl working at the bank today? She's a hottie!

Me: Who me? I've been there for two years! ;) jk Its Jane Doe, she's summer help but she's been working downstairs.

Him: Lol that's true

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2010

You're right. I should just quit worrying and do something about it. One of the girls I was training said it was completely obvious that I liked him, so really if he wanted to ask me, he should know, but maybe he feels awkward about it too.

The problem is, he usually comes in first thing in the morning, so lunch really isn't an option, besides I have a specific time that I go. I guess dinner would be more like a date though, so I see what you mean. Any other advice since lunch is probably out? Is sending a message on facebook lame or would that be okay to do? I've had people tell me to slip him a note with my phone number on his deposit ticket, but I don't feel right doing that either. I guess I'm just a big chicken. I have always thought that if a guy is interested, he will ask. Is that wrong? I know that if he never does though and would have said yes if I asked, then I would be missing out. No pan no gain!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2011

Quit wondering and just ask him next time he comes to your window if he'd wanna grab lunch with you sometime. You already have a friendly base to start with and are friends on fb. The worse he could do is tell you no. If he says yes, great! If not? Then you get to open your eyes to find someone else. Dinner is a little bit much of a leap and lunch would be casual and hopefully lead to something more meaningful. Hope this helps!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2010

I didn't end up responding, but when I saw him Friday, the first thing out of his mouth was "Yeah, that was the right person!" So I kind of feel bad about not responding since he said something about it right off.

I'm still not really sure what to think, but I have fun talking to him when he's in. I guess I will just have to see what happens. I was thinking on Friday night that I should have responded (even though we already talked about what I had written) so I decided to write "Sorry I didn't respond sooner, I hope you have a good weekend at the lake- I'm jealous." Except my phone decided to press send in the middle of it so it ended up being in two messages. Hopefully he doesn't think I''m a crazy drunk or something, lol. But I haven't heard back from him on that one yet. I guess I will just talk to him at work about the lake. I don't know if I should have done that or not, but that's what I felt at the time, so I decided to do it. I don't see much harm in telling him to have a good weekend.

I guess I really shouldn't get my hopes up about him since he is likely just a niice guy.. oh well :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2010
He actually came in again and mentioned that those were the right people. Maybe I should have responded. I kind of feel bad now. I was thinking about saying I didn't get it until today and telling him that I hope he has fun at the lake, but I'm not really sure what to do. I don't want to lie to him though because I saw it the second he sent me the message....

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