How do I accept that he is extremely QUIET?!?!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
How do I accept that he is extremely QUIET?!?!
10
Fri, 02-25-2011 - 12:41pm

I am dating this guy for 4 months.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999

First of all I think you should stop listening to your so-called "best friend" who doesn't seem to be acting like a friend to you at all & tell him to stop pretending to be a therapist.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

Your "best friend" is not very good at psychoanalysis first and foremost - and second, he's making you paranoid about something you shouldn't be paranoid about. Stop listening to your friend, he's not correct, and he's getting into your head so that you don't give your boyfriend a fair chance at a relationship with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

It sounds to me like your 'friend' is doing his best to undermine your relationship and have the two of you break up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
I do love him for who he is. I'm not looking for some sort of Mr. Perfect that doesn't exist. I said to my best friend, "If he is 1) faithful, 2) doesn't get in the way of my school/career, 3) loves me a lot, then I will settle.

Best friend said, "he's too young to settle."

Yes! I need to get to know him and not commit now. No moving in or anything like that.

Ques: how can he love me after only 4 months?

Ques: do you think I'm feeling undeserving of his love because my parents never showed me it. So I'm not use to it. Could that be the case? How do I overcome feeling undeserving?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007

I have to debunk some of these assumptions.

"he's too young to settle."

I'm sure there are plenty men who settle down in their late twenties.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2008

listen to yourself and slow your roll and slows his roll.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007

I just realized that this is the same man you mentioned on the Living Together board who wants to live with you affter 5 months, but you were concerned as he has not said "I love you" yet, but talks about marrying you.

I think you just need to slow down and learn more about this guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Lol!! He said "I love you" but never mentioned marriage. Other way around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007

Oop sorry, wrong poster!!:smileysurprised:

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Seinna76, you read someone elses post.

I know I'm only 25. Never been married or had kids. But picking up self-help books help a lot! Even if you google terms of what you need help on or just curious about: how have a healthy relationship, what make a man committ, how to communicate your feelings, etc..

It really helps!

I find it more efficient to say how I feel without name calling or cursing. Like for example, my boyfriend and I've been having sex too much and not enough talking. I told him I want him to take me out more often and not just on holidays. I told him I enjoy his company. I understand his work is busy. I told him if I can talk to him on the phone everyday, I will be happy. He said yes & he will take me out before and on my birthday.

I didn't use words like: "you're just using me" etc.....