How do I show him I'm not as "prim and proper" as he thinks?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2008
How do I show him I'm not as "prim and proper" as he thinks?
Wed, 11-10-2010 - 1:33pm

I like a guy at work, and from comments he's made, I think he's attracted to me too. We've flirted, but other comments he's made show that he thinks of me as being too "sheltered" (his word). Like he apologizes if he uses bad language in front of me, or when he told me a "naughty" joke (it was actually very tame).

I think he thinks that, even though I'm divorced, I'm practically still a virgin!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2010

I'm not a guy but if you "aren't comfortable saying anything overtly sexual or telling dirty jokes or anything like that" then aren't you as prim and proper as he thinks, really?

Also, you're not saying if he has a kind of sarcastic tone when he apologizes for his language, etc., or if he's serious. It could be he's actually trying to impress you with what a gentleman he is, rather than that he doesn't like it.

My husband seems to love it very much when I'm nasty in the bedroom but I don't think he'd be as impressed if I went around acting and talking that way in public. I can't say for sure if the contrast

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007

It's quite simple really:

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

Totally agree with this

OP have you considered that maybe this guy thinks you're prim and proper for a good reason, if only because in relation to HIM, you kind of are? Does that mean he's a good match for you? Are you comfortable with him loosening up around you like that? It's up to you to decide. Also remember that as time goes on, he'll get to know you better and will learn what you're comfortable with. I would tell him: "just be yourself. If it makes me uncomfortable I'll let you know, but so far you're good."