How do you get over a breakup and a broken heart?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
How do you get over a breakup and a broken heart?
Sat, 05-21-2011 - 5:08pm

After telling him to get lost because of what he asked me to do, well we actually talked more and it was more of a heart to heart. We both agreed how much we thought we were good together and hated that we can't work things out. He refuses to let go of this and I refuse to do what he wanted. So we again said goodbye and wished eachother the best. My head knows its the only answer, that it was an impossible situation, but my heart is mouring for what we DID have together..all the good things and what could have been..what we both hoped for. I'm trying very hard to be logical about this and just move on...but I can't stop crying for him. I almost wish he just told me to F off instead of telling me how much he liked me and wished we could work out. He admited that he has a need to be controlling(his flaw he said) and that he would never change. At least he was honest. Why it came out now after three months I don't know because prior to this I was the happiest I've been in years and loved where this was going. I know I have to look at it as better now than later...still it doesn't make the hurt any easier :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009

I totally understand the desire for him to just tell you to F off. It would be so much easier to hate someone.

How long ago did this happen?

Crying is okay. Heartache sucks. Let it hurt, it's going to hurt whether you accept it or not. Sometimes there is no way to deal with pain than to just live through it and know it won't last forever. It sounds too easy but finding things to do and being around other people DOES help even if you don't want to do it. Thinking about the breakup isn't going to un-do it, or make it hurt less. Thinking about it more won't change anything. You won't have some kind of huge revelation where things magically feel okay. You're doing the right thing by trying to think about it logically. Beyond that, it's just a matter of time and keeping yourself occupied that will heal you. Be good to yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Were you dating 3 months?

I guess I would need to find solice in the fact that millions of people go through a break up any give day of the week. And that everyone does move on, and no one died of a broken heart.

If he says he's controlling and won't change that, thank your lucky stars he was up front about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005

You may want to check out my other board, Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, for some support from others who are going through their own heartbreaks.

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