How do you know he just wants sex?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
How do you know he just wants sex?
Tue, 04-20-2010 - 11:00pm

How can you tell the difference from a guy that just wants to get in bed or when a guy actually is interested in wanting a relationship?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Tue, 04-20-2010 - 11:13pm

Don't have sex with him right away and then if that's all he wants, he'll move on, I would expect. Do you have a specific situation in mind?

Edited 4/21/2010 12:33 am ET by coconut2010


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 8:44am
Make him wait 3 months....and you can't tell him he has to wait 3 months.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 12:41pm

Hi giggle and welcome to the board. In addition to the advice you've already received, I think you may find these links useful:

Is he using me for sex?

Is he just using me?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 04-21-2010 - 7:25pm

Giggle, I've never been one to play games around holding back sex to test a guy's commitment. I'm totally hopeless at game playing!! But even if you have sex, it's still possible to know if he's just after sex or wants a relationship too.

The first way to know is to ask. Good old fashioned communication. It's pefectly OK to talk to someone about what they are looking for in a relationship.

The other way is just about watching to see if he wants to do non sexual stuff with you too. A guy who wants a relationship will want to see you socially. He will plan his weekends so that he can do stuff with you. And when I say *stuff* I don't just mean laying in bed....I mean going to dinner, picnics, outings etc.

Of course, if you don't make sex wait, there is also the chance you'll sleep with someone who doesn't want a relationship. But that's a risk you have to be prepared to take if you do it my way.

When I met my hubby, we had sex on the day we met. I was prepared for it to go either say goodbye the next morning or to continue into a relationship. Obviously, we continued into a great relationship and are still very happy nearly 20 years later.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2006
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 7:56am

"How can you tell the difference from a guy that just wants to get in bed or when a guy actually is interested in wanting a relationship?"

By spending time with him and investing at least