How to show you're not interested?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2010
How to show you're not interested?
6
Sun, 08-08-2010 - 10:26pm

You know, I changed this into a venting post.

Honestly, I feel disgusted and angry toward men. I hate how every one of them looks at me and it appears all they see is sex. I'm so sick and tired running into men that play the same old game of trying to get into my pants. Even if you tell them and reject them one after another, they STILL TRY. It's made me bloody angry so much. Are they THAT cold-hearted?! I don't understand what the hell they actually SEE in me. I'm not the most attract female on the block, they hardly even know what I'm LIKE in general. Yet, they assume "Oh, I'm bored which leads me to messing with this chick until I'm finished" UGH. just leave me ALONE. I don't want to be around men at ALL anymore. I wish I could work somewhere that was all women and go to a college that were all female staff/students. I would rather deal with the backstabbing, two-faced, drama with women then the player, overly sexual, hollow male species. I would like to actually HANG OUT with men, be myself and silly, fun, whatever. HOWEVER, they think its a time where they create this whole sexual thought process going on. AHH.. i'm so annoyed. OOOH and if they ' dont feel like it' in that way, they don't even BOTHER to acknowledge you unless they're HORNY. What is the point but still, I hands down am sick of men. I can't even stand it anymore...




Edited 8/8/2010 11:27 pm ET by light_seeker
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2010
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 7:44pm
xx


Edited 8/13/2010 12:27 am ET by light_seeker
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2010
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 7:14pm

Ah, thanks. I'm not only angry with men but, also myself for allowing this to happen over and over again.

I'll be truthful, I already know why this happens. Let's see, I've been through abuse, I've been in abusive relationships, highly insecure, depressed-lonely, I have no friends and lack good communication with people, usually I get walked all over and/or ignored, manipulated and bullied. So, there's a guy who has some sort of 'ego' going on, maybe a bit too selfish in most cases. Well, there's me, quiet, a loner, doesn't go along with what everyone else does and to his knowledge, she probably wouldn't say anything if he ever did anything to her. So he starts out playing that same-old game pattern, for attention, for fun, for whatever. Yet, I know his intentions are wrong in a way I enjoy it. It's stupid and irrational of me, although its as if that's the only attention I really get. I let it happen, I believe to think it's probably more when in reality it's not. He's just a guy who has one thing on his mind and only thinking of himself, which I wouldn't doubt one bit. I mean, hell, we must all think for ourselves right?

Anyway, there's this guy bothering me at work. He seemed chill at first, but moody. It all started when I just laughed at something he happened to do and now look at what's going on. Ugh. His girlfriend even works at the same place I do, and she gets all weird every time I'm around him. I know I'm just the fun part right now and whatever he's trying to do I keep rejecting but, he keeps trying. He only tries to help me, he only greets/talks to me when no one else is around yet its always the same repeated questions or something really stupid, that he cant even explain well enough. Look, hands down, I don't like where this is going and how his behavior is. It's weird and I feel like I'm in some sort of affair. If I intentionally ignore him when I'm doing something, he'll repeat it even louder or try to get me to look at him.

The last thing I need is for his gf to come at me, yelling or something along those lines. It's always like this. Some dude who keeps me a 'secret' and cant even have a conversation with in public. As if there is some sort of "crush" going on? Man, these things don't even last that long. Give me a break, they just want that few seconds of orgasm. I don't want to be Bothered by men anymore, I don't want a relationship with one, I want Nothing to do with them. They're pathetic and can't even "express" themselves without having some huge "ego". I'm supposedly their 'play toy' for the time being. WoooHooooooo... Ugh, I really wish I could get out of this male filled world. All they ever want to do is hump away.

Again, yes, everyone will probably tell me "why don't you just speak up" blah blah. Lol, if I already knew that, why would I be venting?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 9:50am

Yes, she has been through a very traumatic time.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 7:18am

I agree with True Blue, if that is the only type of man that you're encountering, you are the common denominator so it's time to look at yourself and see why you are attracting this

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 7:02am

Photobucket

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Mon, 08-09-2010 - 1:46am

Light_seeker, you're not alone in believing that all men are the same. Likewise, there are women who can't understand why no men pay any attention to them. And there are women who find that every man they date treats them badly.

But thing is, all men are different. So, if any woman keeps finding the same reaction from men, she needs to look at herself. It means she's the constant.

I think you'll find there's something you're doing which is attracting the wrong type of man. Perhaps it's where you go or what you do. Perhaps it's how you talk or how you dress. There's some type of vibe which beckons them to you.

Try changing what you're doing and see if it alters your experiences with men.