how to tell my coworker to back off

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
how to tell my coworker to back off
6
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 5:21pm

i work in a small company of about 25 people. there is a guy at work who likes me. he's asked me out before, and i told him i didn't think it would be a good idea. i do not like him at all. i was trying to be nice by telling him this way. i am not the best at saying things straight up, so i have talked about dating other men in front of him to dissuade him. i thought he had gotten the picture at one point, but he told me the other day that he still wants to get to know me better. i really need to get him off my back because it's starting to annoy me to no end. he's always staring at me and trying to talk to me. how should i go about this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Tue, 11-30-2010 - 7:10pm

When you talk about dating other men then he thinks he has a chance - just say thank you but I am not interested and just simply walk away - make a phone call etc.

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 12-01-2010 - 12:57pm

Sorry but I really don't like the "I've got too much going on" response. It's a lie. Men who are thick in the head like this one don't listen to anything but "no".

Don't send any more hints, don't try to dissuade him by diverting him. Just tell him: "I'm not interested in being friends or anything else."

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
Wed, 12-01-2010 - 6:33pm

You're right - I didn't look at it that way - but I have said it - I guess sometimes you just have to be very blunt.

When I was younger I didn't have the guts - but now - it wouldn't bother me if I had to

Denise

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 12-02-2010 - 10:49am

Do you email with

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 12-02-2010 - 3:06pm

Yeah me either, it's almost scary to say how easy it is to confront someone like that now LOL... All part of growing up and dealing with other people's BS!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2010
Sun, 12-12-2010 - 4:50pm
I totally agree with undercovercrab. I worked with someone who was relentless like that when I first took the job and I wasn't blunt with him and he ended up telling people we were casually dating! And that was a total lie! I was furious and started to avoid him like crazy until he finally got the hint that I wasn't interested period. I would have been much better off telling him that I wasn't interested in anything with him, dating or otherwise.

Be blunt to get him to stop. It's the best way to go.