Hurting pretty bad tonight

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2010
Hurting pretty bad tonight
8
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 9:43pm

New here and feeling very hurt tonight. =(

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 10:45pm

Starlyn, I'm sorry you are hurting right now.

The truth of the matter is that there are some things about you which don't work for him. It's just that he's held back from telling you.

Thing is, very few people are brutally honest about why they are breaking up...because it's too hurtful for the dumpee to hear all their 'faults' being listed. Also, honesty opens the doors for the dumpee to say "Oh, I can change that part of me" if you'll stay.

Besides that, the list of what went wrong is really subjective. He may tell you that you're too X, but the next guy might love that thing about you. So, a 'fault' to one person isn't necessarily a 'fault' to all people.

You say that the two of you broke up a few months back. The fact that you've already broken up back then does show that all wasn't perfect in the relationship. And whatever was wrong back then is probably still wrong now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2008
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 2:22am
Starlyn. I am so very sorry that you are hurting tonight. My heart goes out to you. I know it seems like a knife has stabbed you right now but as hard as it may be to believe you will gain some strength from this.
This other girl that he met may have made him realize that he wanted to "play the field" for a while before settling down since most guys brag about how many girls they have been with. Maybe he is confusing the word LOVE with SEX.
I am sure you are all the wonderful thing that he described and he will miss those things when the true colors of the "other" girls come out. By then it may be too late for you.
Good Luck
*´¨)
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(¸.·´ (¸.·' ¤ Nina
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 7:23am

Let me give you an analogy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 10:37am
Just wanted to say this analogy was awesome. Hope you don't mind if I use it in the future (I will credit you).
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2008
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 2:46pm

beautifully analogy.... let's remember, we are all porcshes!


Good luck keep yourself busy and remember to always always love yourself first. Everyday will get easier for you. Stay strong you will get through this and find your real love.


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2009
Fri, 02-12-2010 - 10:58pm

Sorry for what you're going thru.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 8:09am

I'm so sorry. It's completely natural to feel the way you are feeling, but liking everything about someone and thinking they're perfect for you on paper doesn't equate to being in love with them.

One of the most passionate couples I ever knew were very mismatched. They were just totally incompatible in so many ways, but MADLY in love. Unfortunately love wasn't enough and the relationship ended badly, but it goes to show that love isn't logical.

My best wishes for your healing and better luck next time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 8:10am

That is an awesome analogy.

Great post.