I am dating a guy that plays mind games

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2011
I am dating a guy that plays mind games
2
Tue, 03-19-2013 - 7:58pm

i have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months -- in the last few months he has told me about his bathing suit model ex girlfriend on numerous occassions and makes sure to tell me every week that a new random girl has been flirting with him. But this week was a true winner.

let me begin by saying...I am 5'3" and 110 pounds. We went out to dinner this weekend and i joked with him that I always tend to put on 2 or 3 pounds in the summer (its all that ice cream -- lol!!!) He responded that he will be able to tell if I gained 2 or 3 pounds and he would not be happy. He went on to say that I should lose 8 pounds. I was in shock. How do you tell a 110pd woman to lose 8 pounds? I told him there is no way I will do that and I would not deprive myself. Thank God, I am a strong woman that doesn't listen to such nonsense. How insensitive to tell a 110pound woman to lose 8 pounds? Is he trying to kill me? At this point, I am so angry with him that I just can't get past it. I am really tired of the mind games. Any thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Sun, 03-24-2013 - 10:02am
Kenda always says things perfectly - all I would add is that if you were truly a strong woman, you would have either told him to shut it and never say that or any of his other nonsense again....or you wouldn't even have given him that chance and just booted his little boy self away for good.
 
You've got to do some self reflection of why being spoken to like this is acceptable to you.
Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Fri, 03-22-2013 - 3:52pm

silverjet79 wrote:
<p>i have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months -- in the last few months he has told me about his bathing suit model ex girlfriend on numerous occassions and makes sure to tell me every week that a new random girl has been flirting with him. But this week was a true winner.</p><p>let me begin by saying...I am 5'3" and 110 pounds. We went out to dinner this weekend and i joked with him that I always tend to put on 2 or 3 pounds in the summer (its all that ice cream -- lol!!!) He responded that he will be able to tell if I gained 2 or 3 pounds and he would not be happy. He went on to say that I should lose 8 pounds. I was in shock. How do you tell a 110pd woman to lose 8 pounds? I told him there is no way I will do that and I would not deprive myself. Thank God, I am a strong woman that doesn't listen to such nonsense. How insensitive to tell a 110pound woman to lose 8 pounds? Is he trying to kill me? At this point, I am so angry with him that I just can't get past it. I am really tired of the mind games. Any thoughts?</p>

If you're tired of mind games, then why are you dating a man who plays mind games?

He can say pretty much anything he wants, including that a 110 lbs woman needs to lose 8 lbs. He can be as insensitive as he chooses to be.  There is no law against that and there is no one here who can make him stop.  However, what that 110 lb woman needs to do to stop putting herself in close physical proximity to this source of scorn and hurt; yet she won't do it--and that is the larger, looming question here.