I think I'm being played....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2006
I think I'm being played....
Mon, 12-16-2013 - 3:21am

A few months back my friend of three years started showing signs of what I thought was interest in me. He started paying more and more personal attention to me, would come out and spend time at places with my girl friends and I that he woundn't normally go to, make up excuses to be alone with me when we were out with our group of friends, and was generally quite touchy whenever he could steal an opportunity when were all out for the evening. Soon he started inviting me out alone, or to just hang out with him at his apartment. Eventually he took the first step when we were at his place and pulled me in close and cuddled with me on the couch for hours. The next time he moved in and kissed me. This continued you for a few weeks until he made the move to take things further and wanted to go all the way. Even though we have known each other for three years and are friends, I didn't know him all that well and told him that I wanted to wait before moving forward. I could tell that he wasn't too pleased, but respected my wishes and stopped. I was so sure that this had put him off, and didn't expect to hear from him again. He was called away the next day on a month long business trip, but continued to keep in touch and call me from the road almost every day. I was confused by his behaivour, but decided not to put pressure on the situation and simply 'go with the flow.'  Upon his arrival home,  he let me that he was back, and made a plan that we all out for the evening and then again that night he invited upstairs again to hang out. I wasn'ts sure what expect, but once we got upstairs he was very sweet and we shared a few kisses.  The nature of his work requires him to be on the road a lot, and so yet again he was on his way out of town the next day . There was some communication this time, but not as much as the first time he had been called away. I could make the excuse that this time around he was overseas in Europe and not in the States, so long distance costs and time change could have been a factor, but probably not. He just got back a few days ago and we saw each other soon after he got home. We were out in a large group so there wasn't much time for chatting and flirting, but didn't stop him from texting me from across the table. As we were leaving he told me he had to go to a dinner party and wouldn't be able to spend time with me on Friday night. I already had made my own plans, so I told him I would just see him another time. At some point during the night I ended up sending him a text asking how the party went.  He told me he would be leaving soon and asked me to come meet him and his friends for a little while.  I told him that I was with friends, to which he replied to come and meet him and ask them to join us soon after. When I went to meet him I got the feeling that he wasn't as into seeing me as he was before, but decided to make the best of the situation.  We spent some time together and he eventually warmed up and kissed me once we were alone. When I left to go home, he texted me to make sure that I had made it home safely and now I haven't heard from him all day. I have only shared this with my closest friend, but others have started picking up on his body language and have been noticing his flirting with me and have been asking 'what's going on?'

I should mention that he has been single for many many years, and lives a life of travel and constant business relations. He enjoys his time away from work and drinks in great moderation, so he is always of a clear mind when interacting with me. I feel like I am being played, I need to break away from him, but am finding it difficult to distance myself from him because I am so attracted to him. That being said, I also don't want to be the girl he runs to only when he's in town. I just don't want to believe that someone who has been in my life for an extended period of time would take advantage of my feelings and just wants to get into my pants. I am struggling with whether or not to have an open conversation about this with him, or just phase out whatever this is and go back to being friends and spending time together only when out with our group of friends.