I'm at a loss
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|Mon, 02-01-2010 - 3:43pm|
I'll try not to take long on this. Been married 18 yrs. We are both 39. Have a pretty good sex life. We keep it spicy enough and we can keep it on the down low too. Get along good. We haven't had a fight since October. Have 2 kids that are great!
3 yrs ago He had an ED problem for about 6 months. Just long enough for me to think he was cheating with a co worker. He said no way but, the evidence showed me other wise. He's been to the doctor and nothing was wrong and the problem went away about a month later. He was under a lot of stress at work and I totally can understand that. Trust issues were lost and we have worked very hard on getting back on course.
Here lately I've felt that something is up. He has been soft the last few times. Most of the time it works ALL THE TIME! It's just something you know is not quite right. We've been together to long to not know. Anyway, yesterday I call him at work and asked him when he was going to be home cause I was in the mood. He just said uuuhhh OK. Most of the time he would laughed and say you'd better be in bed when I get home!! This time he didn't sound right. When he got home I was in the living room, he went back to the bathroom for a bit and then he came out and said are you coming? That was all he had to say. I was all over him. Well he couldn't get it up. Limp. I was taken back a bit and said what's going on? He said he didn't know. He then told me that he put that cream on (makes you last longer so the directions say). So that tells me he already knew "it" wasn't going to work to full extent. I asked him if he wanted to have sex right now and he said yes. Asked ok then what's going on? He would say I don't know. So we took a break. 2 hours later he was fine but soft somewhat and it didn't last very long. I never press the issue. I've never made him feel that he couldn't perform. I mean the guy has an ego. We all do. I feel like I'm a beautiful sexy woman. I have flaws. So does he and I never point them out.
At work there has been no stress what so ever. None that I know of. He works at a golf course and there is snow on the ground and there isn't much to do. A little painting in the pro shop and in the club areas. Bla bla bla. So he has some time off. He plays a lot of video games at home, sleeps in and life is pretty good right now for him. Not to much stress at home. I did take his Xbox cord away and hid it from him a couple of hours a few weeks ago so we could eat as a family together. I thought it was pretty funny and so did the kids. He did not. He got over it I'm sure cause he is now wireless!! LOL It was just a joke but, he thought I had total control for those few hours that he couldn't check to see who was playing on line. Uuuugggrrrgg!!!! But, that is just being silly and playing jokes on each other. It happens in marriage.
Ohhh this is longer than I thought. He told me yesterday that he hasn't had a sex drive very much these days. Told me it could have been his runny nose. OK....I didn't know a runny nose could cause an erection problem. That's what I said in my mind. Of course when I've done his laundry these past few weeks I would see evidence of semen on his underwear. Which tells me he has a sex drive. Is he "getting off" at work? Cause I wish he would just tell me. But, how do you ask a guy if he masturbates at work?!! I have asked him 3 yrs ago and he told me maybe once or twice. Or I'm having horrible feeling that he may be cheating again. But, I would like to know so I would have peace of mind that there isn't anything medical wrong with him...cheating...or he just isn't attracted to me.
Anyway just a little insight for me please. I know it's just not me. Something is going on. How can I get him to open up with out him thinking I think he is cheating. He will blow up!! Tell me tell me tell me guys. What should I do!?!?