i'm messing it up

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2010
i'm messing it up
Sat, 12-11-2010 - 1:22pm


need a few pointers here. Theres a guy in my class who has started sitting next to me, he's gorge, i'm average.

So i've been tryin to hide the fact that i like him by avoiding eye contact and resting my head on my hand wich sort of hides me from him (if that makes sense).

Trouble is, last week he sat by me, he moved his chair before he sat down and put his feet up on the seat in front (bringing knees up a bad sign i'm told), we work together sometimes and we dont look at each other just stare at our books.

I'm always cynical around him (which he seems to find funny!) because i'm so nervous. He probably thinks i'm a dope and i feel that after this last class together that barriers

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2009
Sat, 12-11-2010 - 2:51pm

Yes, you are messing it up by putting up barriers to someone who may be interested in you. Let him in! Just because you think you are average, doesn't mean that he thinks so. If he chose you to sit by, he may have thought that you are attractive and interesting looking. If he's so gorgeous, maybe he's tired of women throwing themselves at him, and it's refreshing to have someone be a bit of a challenge. Who knows what he's thinking, but you will always regret it if you let him go without staying in contact.

Be friendlier in the remaining time you have in class with him. If you have a friendly, outgoing friend, channel her in your head and temporarily pretend you are her. Ask him what classes he plans on taking next semester. Ask him what he does for fun when he's not studying. Ask him if he's seen any good movies lately. You sound like you need to work on your self esteem. If you don't like yourself, it might make it harder for others to see all the greatness in you. It's easy to look in the mirror and see flaws. It's harder to talk positively about yourself, but try. Maybe you have beautiful skin. Maybe you have a buff body. If you feel confident about yourself, it will shine through with your attitude and make you all the more attractive. It's so true that people become more attractive if they have a wonderful personality, and attractive people are seen as uglier if their personality sucks.

When you do date someone, never say anything negative about yourself. If you do, the man will start examining you and think, maybe she's right. If you think you're great, he will too. If it were me, I'd say, "I'm deserving of a gorgeous man." Look him in the eyes when you talk. It will feel funny at first, but everything takes practice. Instead of negative talk like, "I'm not good at dating," change your way of thinking and say, "I'm just beginning to get the hang of dating, and I will get better and better at it as I have more life experiences." Good luck, and let us know how it goes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sun, 12-12-2010 - 3:58pm

Friends is not too much to ask.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Thu, 12-16-2010 - 11:01am

I agree with the other members