Intimate with coworker..what to do next?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Intimate with coworker..what to do next?
49
Sat, 07-03-2010 - 12:08pm
Well i have been at this

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 7:24am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 9:59pm

It seems like he has seen you at your worst (by what you describe) and he is still coming on to you.

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 11:02am

hey,


seen me at my worst? meaning what i wrote in general about not looking too good for work?


did i sound bad/too emotional the night i was with him?


in the cab..he put his hand on my knee and even eventuall said come here where he can put his arm around me and i can rest my head on his shoulder.


But now i feel like an idiot because i think i kind of revealed i wanted to hang out again, i said he will probably be fine tomororw and asked why and i said i am the one who is sensitive etc..but not in a super serious way. I did reveal i wanted to sleep him as well..like i was open to it but i felt bad because i don't want him to think of me badly. He even said i am too "good". And he said its not like you have done this with and named the names of the 3 guys in our group who i see every day as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2008
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 11:49am

I think you are in limbo!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 1:27pm

did i seem psycho? i guess it can always be blamed on the alcohol that i am interested him but now i feel like even there was a slight interest maybe i scared him away? :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 3:31pm

Yes I meant if your paranoid as to whether he finds you attractive or not...he must because he has seen you at your worst (at work) and he still is pursuing you.

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 4:10pm

i have known him since i started..over 2 years..i am kind of shy so i don't just go into his office like others do to talk and chit chat and laugh..i am not good with small talk in an office setting...in general he is just a friendly, outgoing guy and alot of people like him. Maybe he is like this with everyone but i feel like he kind of looks out for me here and there. Like 2 weeks i guess he could see i was sad or upset or something and he tried approaching me a few times that day saying you are more quiet than usual etc..and then we finally had that outing with coworkers and wound up at his place he did say i was concerned about you the past few days, you just seemed off..but maybe he was just saying that in the moment trying to get somewhere physically.


sometimes some personal issues just made me no care so much about getting dolled up and he would usually say something to me as he walks by b.c his office is close to where i sit so he has to pass me..sometimes i feel like we would look at each other as he was walking by and it was that certain look i guess..BUT maybe since he is friendly he is like that with everyone..just has those good kind eyes maybe i dont know.


I am in my mid twenties...i didn't mean he would think badly of me but sometimes guy label a girl after giving it up so quickly and i guess i wanted him to see me in this "good" way. But maybe it was a turn off how guarded i was?


and maybe the things i said scared him off as well? or can it just be blamed on alocohol if anything?


i just see him avoiding me more now even to make sure noone notices anything which is a good thing but disappointing as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 5:37pm

Even thou you said you wanted to sleep with him...with the new information you gave me (he is treating you differently already)...I would not sleep with him the NEXT time either.


If your out...and he asks you to go back to his place.

Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2006
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 6:26pm

i feel like that opportunity may not even come up which kind of disappoints me...he may especially back off even more so than how he normally treats me because he doesn't want anyone to notice anything..people can definitely be gossips at work and i know he wouldn't want people to know which is normal and a good thing.


he is treating me different in a bad way? he did ask if we were "cool" which made me think this is going to be forgotten about and if there is another outing with coworkers we can't really be around each other too much because others might catch on or something.


We were the last at the bar so we stood around talking for about 15 minutes and decided to leave. He was walking ahead of me and then we saw 2 of our coworkers at the end..it was like the back area to the bar so he said goodnight and then walked ahead which was a smart thing to do and then i said goodnight and walked out.


We caught up with each other but maybe it looked like we were going home together. He even said he thinks that is what they thought and thats why he walked ahead first.


I think due to this he might treat me even more differently..or maybe its because he really just doesn't like me...


iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 8:47pm

No, I wasn't saying he was treating you differently in a bad way...I said YOU noticed he was treating you differently and if you did have sex with him....(I know you didn't)...but if he was treating you differently after having sex...it sounds like you really would be anlayzing things...you went out and shared a drink and some conversation with a co-worker...no big deal.

Missy

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