Inviting into Hotel Room after Date
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|Thu, 01-28-2010 - 4:24pm|
Two people have been dating for a bit over a month. They have been physically affectionate but not "gone all the way." They are in their mid-fifties. He is conservative, traditional, and considerate.
He has told her that he wants to respect her pace--that he doesn’t want to ruin a good relationship by offending her with premature sexual demands. She has told him that so long as he listens to "No," when she says it, she will not be offended by anything he asks.
This weekend she has to go out of town for a conference in the town that the man's brother lives, and the man proposed that they drive down there together on Friday and he can visit his brother (and stay with his brother) while she is doing her conference work, but they can get together for dinner and a show after her conference ends on Saturday night and then drive back on Sunday. (Otherwise they could not see each other this weekend because she won’t be home until after noon on Sunday. This way, he gets a holiday and they get to spend more time together.) She accepted with pleasure.
Here is the question: After the date on Saturday night, should she invite him up to her hotel room for a drink (as she would invite him into her house if he had taken her out to dinner, etc. in her town) or should the good nights be said at the door of the hotel room?
She does not want their first night together to be at this hotel when she will probably be exhausted from the two day conference. So would it be okay to ask him in for a drink and NOT have sex? Or would having him in her room give the signal that she is now ready for greater intimacy?
She knows he will continue to respect her pace. What worries her is that he might feel that she is either teasing him (by asking him into the room and then saying "stop") or rejecting him/being cold (if she stops him at the door or doorway). Note that she is beginning to feel that she is ready for intimacy; she just doesn't want this to be their first night together.
What would you do (if you were a woman in this situation) or what would you want her to do (if you were the man)?