The irony of it all :(
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|Thu, 05-19-2011 - 11:11pm|
These last few weeks have been such an emotional roller coaster for me starting with elation after our first date to worrying that I sabotoged things...to telling him to get lost!
Even as recent as last night things were so wonderful. He told me that he hoped I was the one he was looking for and I said the same. We made plans for next weeknd. It continued today with sweet words and caring towards me. But then something happened that turned Jekyl into Hyde. I won't go into the gory details but this afternoon he started suggesting that I do something for him of a sexual nature. I told him no way. As the afternoon went on his suggestion became more adament and I continued to say no. Then he finally said you know what I want its your decision. Pretty much he gave me an ultimatum. So I wrote him and said here's my answer. I told him that I had too much respect for myself to do that and that I will not be involved with someone who gives me ultimatums or threatens me that they will leave if they don't get their way. I also told him that I was not losing him...he was losing me. I said I hoped he realized what he was throwing away to fulfill a f*cking sexual fantasy!
I'm hurt...sad and numb. I'm having a real hard time believing that 24 hrs ago I was on top of the world and so happy looking forward to the future...and tonight its all gone. :( the only thing good that came out of this for me was I am not falling apart because I sabotoged it...it was him that did it this time.