is it reasonable to compare them?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2010
is it reasonable to compare them?
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 11:11pm

I have been with my bf for more than 1 yr.

We went to shopping yesterday. During the shopping, I went to bathroom , when I was out of bathroom, I saw he was calling sb. Yet he immediately said :" ok, have a good day and see you" through the cell when he noticed I walked close to him. I felt uncomfortable about it. He said he called A, whom I also knew.

After back home, I did sth that I should not do but I had no choice: I checked his cell when he was sleeping. Ys, he did call his friend A, but he also called his ex-gf. I felt I was fooled by him.

It makes me think of one thing happened on me: b4 I was with my bf, I once liked a guy so much(I call him X here), while X does not like me; at the same time, another guy liked me so much (I call him Y here), but I did not like him at all. We were all just friends at that time. One time I went out with Y to bank, and he had to ask sth there. During the time he asked advice, I actually was thinking of X, so I called X to say Hi.

I am wondering whether I can compare these 2 similar situation: I called X when I was with Y when he was asking advice from staff in bank, cz I actually liked X; My bf called his ex-gf when he was with me and when I went to bathroom; I of course did not want Y know that I called X, and my bf also did not want me to know he called his ex-gf. So based on my feeling and experience, can I say that my bf actually more like his ex-gf rather than me? B4 this I did not know he still contacts with his ex-gf. Although ppl are different, there are similar feelings among human beings.

what do you guys think? Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 11:23pm

If your boyfriend had been open about phoning his ex for a chat, would you have been cool with it....or would you get upset and insecure?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2010
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 11:34pm

If he talk with his ex gf openly on phone in front of me, I may feel a bit depressed, BUT I will Not feel insecure, becaue that means he has NOTHING to hide from me!! I can accept it.

If he did so behind my back, I will think he has sth that he try to hide from me.

I keep thinking if A does not have feeling on his ex, why did A still try to find a free time when with his recent gf, with the risk of being seen by his recent gf?

I once knew a chinese woman who has affair with an american guy who has married for long time. The chinese woman told me that when that guy went to out state for travling with his family, he still tried to find free time to call her. (she has been with that guy for long time, and I think that guy likes her)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 6:41am
I don't think