Just wants sex/mind games?

Avatar for roxanne2020
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Just wants sex/mind games?
4
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 10:41pm

I posted about a week and a half ago that the man I dated for 2 months decided although I was perfect he did not want to be in a relationship since he was going through some issues.....I ended up taking a weekend trip to Vegas a week later. I just needed to move on since I did think things were going great.


After the trip I realize I'm grateful he let me go, it became apparent that he needed to be single. I had so much fun, before I left I deleted him from my life....on sunday while still at the airport coming back he text me.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 1:32am
Roxanne - have you tried asking him what's going on?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 2:08am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 8:56am

Instead of concerning yourself over what he wants, why don't you look at what YOU want? You seem to have a good idea that this guy is only "ok for right now" and that someone is going to wind up hurt, so why bother? If you don't play into his mind games, it doesn't even matter what his intent is. If you want an answer, I don't think he's manipulating you, I think he enjoys sex and cuddling and friendship but he doesn't want the obligation and expectation of a relationship. In short, he doesn't want to be held to any kind of standard.

So the most important question is, what are YOU in this for? Because if you're clear about what you want, and you go for it without letting yourself get sidetracked, then it doesn't really matter what he wants because it's not going to change you.

Avatar for roxanne2020
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 3:49pm

So after a whole morning of texts I asked him what is going on.....His answer, "I'm in love with you, and I want to be a better man for you."


I think I just want sex...I think if he truly becomes that better man for me, in this case a better and steady job, and able to commit, and actually want a relationship.....then maybe my mind would change. As for now, I think I'm just going to enjoy the attention...and keep dating other people as well.


This is the only thing I wanted in the beginning: I am a single mother of 2 kids, I work, and I am on my last year for my bachelor's, and I live on my own.