Kissing and oral VS sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2010
Kissing and oral VS sex
23
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 10:18pm

so my boyfriend is a virgin, last night was the farthest we've gone. He played a little underr the belt, and I gave him oral but stopped myself half way through it. Which probably killed him. But we talked, a lot. He put making out, fingering, and oral in one categorie and sex in another.
he said that he felt lke oral was not as intimate or personal, something lke that... As sex is. But to me oral is just a form of sex, and to me it's even more personal! It's not something I have or would do with any and every guy I have been with. I have dated and had sexual relationships with guys and never gave them oral.

I guess I would just love to know what other people think... Is oral not on the same level as sex? Would you wait to have sex but not for oral?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 10:38pm

IMO......it's all sex.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 10:57pm
honestly I shouldn't have even started. He asked I hesitated and did it. I wasn't ready. But we have talked about it and I think next time I will be more comfortable with it. But he is not ready to actually have intercourse. I'm ok with that. He said that eventually t will all lead up to that point, but for now we will stick to hands and mouth...not really sure why if we are protected correctly it's such a big difference for him. But I will respect his decision and just go with the flow.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2008
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 12:15am
Thats how I was when I was younger. With my first love, I was waiting for marriage. We did oral but I was not ready to lose my virginity. Maybe, he just isn't ready to lose it and needs to be warmed up! You said yourself you were uncomfortable with oral...so just take your time.

http://0urkorner.blogspot.com/

             &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 1:06am
yea I know he's not ready and I'm willing to wait around until he is! Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2004
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 7:58pm

It is all sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 10:02pm
oh trust me I know. I was married for six years and have dne it all. I just wanted to know how others felt about oral I guess. It's one thing I really save for someone I can trust and is special to me not that he isn't. I just had a bad experience with it so I am super cautious now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 12:56am
One thing to keep in mind...oral sex won't get you pregnant, but without protection, it can transmit STD's.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 4:35am
like I said, I'm not a child I know! Lol. Thank god he has never done anything, I don't have to worry about STD's...
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2007
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 1:30pm
I am going to repeat what someone else already said and add to it. The public health professional in me has to say this. Yes you can get STD's from oral sex. In addition, are you sure he has never done anything with anyone else? I am not sure how old this guy is, you said you were married for six years, so I am guessing you are not teenagers. I am saying this not to belittle you, just to get you thinking. If he hasn't had intercourse yet, there are other things that can spread STD's, people do not always tell the truth, and is he being honest with his sexuality? Do not get me wrong, I think if someone chooses to wait until marriage for intercourse should be supported and commended, however, sometimes people are not always honest with themselves or with the people around them for any number of reasons. As I have always taught, get tested, get tested, get tested. You have had previous sexual contact, have you been tested? He should be just as concerned as you are. Again, this in not to belittle you, just a public service announcement. STD's is something that I am very big on preventing. Because it is just that, preventable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 2:24pm
yes I am aware of stds and how you get them. I have been tested. Also, yes he is a virgin, of everything! So I don't have to worry. I know some people would lie, but I know him very well and for a very long time now so I don't doubt his word. Thank you though...

Pages