the L word
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|Thu, 04-15-2010 - 10:58am|
This is very long, but please, I need advice!
The story--me: late forties, two marriages-one 21 years (he left me for another woman) second 3 years and I left him because he became abusive and lied non stop. Met my guy almost two years ago. He is in his early 50's was married for 28 years, wife cheated on him more than once. Left her a year previous to us meeting.
Our relationship is wonderful. We moved in together in February of 2009 and have grown closer. We are compatible in and out of bed. He treats me wonderfully. He tells me he is so happy together; that I bring out the best in him. We compliment each other so perfectly. Sooo, what is my problem? The L word. Back in February 2009, after an incredible tender and loving moment, I blurted out those three words. I had been getting all the signs that he felt the same way--but I got nothing in return. And since then,his actions continue to "tell" me he loves me but never are the words uttered. At first, he said how he was so devastated by the divorce, it would take a while to love again. I understood--I had two husbands tell me time and time again they loved me and they both hurt me terribly. Then I got "I have loving feeling for you." Valentines card this year he wrote on the envelope, With love. He tells me his action speak louder than words, but I really want to hear those words. Am I being stubborn or insecure? Every action of his tells me "i love you and want to be with you the rest of my life" I will on occasion tell him I love you like when I or he is going out of town alone. I get a hug and a kiss. I told him that sometimes it is so hard not to tell him I love him, but I don't want to make him feel weird, and he says it doesn't to just say what I want to say. The cincher was I had surgery last week. As I was about to be wheeled off to the operating room, I told him "i love you" and nothing!! I found myself crying as they wheeled me down the hall. Yesterday, i was talking to him mom and she said she is so happy that I am in his life, she has never seen him so happy before, even in his marriage.. These words arealso told to me by all his friends who knew him when he was married.
Please tell me, can it really be this difficult for him to tell me he loves me? Or am I just wishing for something that will never come?