in love with my best friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2005
in love with my best friend
17
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 1:57pm
my bestfriend and I have been friends for a year and half now. we met at a bar and started talking, we starting having a fwb type of relationship. he went back with his baby mama and we remaind friends.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 2:27pm
Sounds to me like he's just using you. You're there when he calls/needs you whether sexual or whatever. If that's what you want, then stick with him . Who cares if he gets jealous! Don't be available everytime he calls you. Ignore him if you have to. Go out, have fun and find someone who is going to want to be with you. Not someone who is just looking for what you can do for him.....



blackandwhite.jpg picture by nhgal2006



“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love,
a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”
Mother Teresa



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 2:59pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 10:25pm

He's doing what he does, using you and that's because

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Mon, 06-28-2010 - 10:43pm

This weekend he got drunk and told me i was the love of his life. how he wanted me to try harder for him. So we had an agrument about a girl he's talkin to.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 7:19am

So many people are making this guy seem like some kind of "mean, bad guy" out to "get his".

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 10:42am

"Think of a young HS boy, just graduated HS and his parents GIVE him a car. Then think of his next door neighbor who worked a part time job, had a paper route and BOUGHT his first car. Who do you think will take better care of their car? As men we cherish that which we work for. This will be analyzed and maybe even attacked....but think about it."

I think this is a great comparison, and I completely agree with you! I think this guy likes the current arrangement where he can have his cake and eat it, too.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Wed, 06-30-2010 - 2:43pm
MC, I don't think any of us said this guy is mean or evil. We said the same thing you said.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 3:12pm
WHen I read references like "He's just using you."
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 4:05pm
I would hope most people don't wake up thinking that. It's just something that happens. In all honesty, I think they are both equally



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 8:19pm

Sex before a relationship can lead to more. I had sex with my husband on the day we met (nearly 20 years ago) and I can promise you that he appreciates me very much. I have friends who have also married men who they slept with early.

But while it can work, early sex can also go very wrong.

Sometimes one party isn't looking for anything other than sex and it's just not going to go further. Other times you'll find that he doesn't respect or appreciate a woman who has sex with him. (Though I guess early sex with this type of man gives the mixed blessing of you knowing what he's about very early on!)

As a woman, if we're going to have sex early, we have to be prepared for the whole situation to go belly up. And we also have to be extra perceptive. Because removing the strategy of him "working for it" also removes a way for you to view his feelings.

In my case, hubby made it clear from the outset that he was enamoured with me and looking for a relationship. So, I knew we were OK. But had we fallen into the FWB thing, it would have been up to me to recognise this, cut my losses and move on.

And moving on is what you must do. Quite frankly, you should have moved on as soon as you realised it was FWB and not a relationship.....but it's not too late to do so now.




Edited 7/1/2010 8:20 pm ET by true.blue.strine

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