Loving someone vs. being IN love w/ him?
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|Wed, 04-09-2003 - 5:51pm|
For instance, I was sure I was in love with my X--I cared so much about him, truly enjoyed his company, always wanted to see him happy and protect him from being harmed. And while I enjoyed being "intimate" with him, it was never an overriding factor in our relationship--in fact, more often than not I was more happy to simply cuddle with him and didn't feel the need to take it past anything more. I'd say the overriding feelings I had when I think of him was the desire to nurture him, protect him and keep him from harm--I often saw moments of vulnerability from him in being hurt by his friends and family that made me want to just give him a big hug and protect him from that hurt. And, even though I found him attracted and did enjoy being physically intimate with him, I never craved it, instead I craved more the simple pleasure of us holding hands, hugging, etc....he never made me weak in the knees, made my stomach flip, etc...
So, looking back on it, I'm wondering if its possible if I maybe loved him, but wasn't "in" love with him? What differentiates a romantic love that you feel for a SO versus one you feel for a close friend? With both types there is the genuine desire to see the other person happy, to protect them from harm and take care of them...so is the difference simply that with your SO you feel an additional desire to be physically intimate with them? And how much of a factor should that desire be??