Men and Fantasizing

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2010
Men and Fantasizing
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 10:49pm

Earlier this evening my husband of 6 months told me that he sometimes fantasizes about other women. This wasn't too shocking but then he went on to tell me that he thinks about women that he knows personally, while touching himself.... one of the girls that he mentioned was someone who he really liked and tried to pursue a relationship with. She liked him as well, even loved him, but her father wouldn't let them date. Is it normal that he still fantasizes about her in that way even though he's married to me now? Should I be worried? I'm just pretty sad about it right now and I'm wondering if I should be?

Your opinions are much appreciated!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 11:12pm

I'm a married woman. And I'd be lying if I said I'd never fantasised about another man while masturbating.

However, despite having a relationship where we discuss things which many other couples don't (such as past lovers etc)....the fact that I occasionally fantasise about other men isn't something I would share with my husband. Telling him would only be hurtful and serve no good purpose.

So, in answer to your question, I think it's normal for him to fantasise. But I think it's really off that he decided to share this fact with you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
Sun, 02-07-2010 - 6:34am

I agree with True Blue. What was gained from this conversation other than you feeling like crap. I can tell you at 6 months of marriage the last thing I was thinking about was a"another woman". After 20 years I still only think of my wife but I'm a odd duck. I don't look at porn and if I need to get off I have plenty of pictures of my wife in