Men lying about their age

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2005
Men lying about their age
6
Wed, 05-28-2014 - 5:54pm

I'm really pissed off. I went on two dates with this guy who was clearly in his sixties.  He never really told me his age, but I googled him after our first date and found out he was sixty something.  So on our second date I straight out asked him and he said 59.   I let it go, but later I texted him and asked him what is your real age?

Instead of coming clean and saying, Ok I fibbed about my age, I'm sorry he goes on this rant and makes jokes about how he is legal and old enough.  He basically wouldn't cop to lying and started putting shit on me.

I am used to guys lying on their online profiles but I met this guy in real life.  (I'm 45 by the way and I look 35 so I could lie about my age too - but I don't).  The age difference didn't bother me, but the fact he lied did.  If he is willing to lie about his age, what else is he lying about?

I told him I didn't feel comfortable seeing him again and I blocked his number.   He was a gentleman on our dates, so I don't understand why he would do that.  He even told me that when he met his last girlfriend he lied about his age so he learned not to do that again (another lie, obviously).

I'm still angry.    Did I overreact or dodge a bullet?  

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2013
Wed, 05-28-2014 - 6:14pm

15 years is a big age difference to me. Especially since men on average only live to be about 73-76 in the U.S. Erectile function issues are greater at his age than a 45 year old, usually. Yes, people should be honest about their age so that the other person has all the facts to make the right decision for themselves. He lies to get what he wants and doesn't care about the other person getting the shrift. He's showing you exactly who he is so it was wise to walk away.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2005
Wed, 05-28-2014 - 6:20pm

Thanks for your advice.  I think I made the right decision.  I've been so jaded and bitter about men so sometimes I think my judgment is cloudy.  To tell you the truth, I would prefer dating someone closer to my age.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-13-2006
Thu, 05-29-2014 - 6:23pm

You dodged a bullet!!! YOu did the right thing.It's true...since he lied about it and when he had a chance to come clean he didn't...well who's to say he's not lying about other stuff????You did the RIGHT thing. I wish that I would have cut off my 'friendship' with someone when I had 1st caught them in a lie...because that means they're always lying about stuff and BOY did this one lie a lot and of course put it on me...BUT..yeah..you did the right thing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Sat, 05-31-2014 - 10:25pm

One of the biggest problems with internet dating is the lying that goes on by both men and women. BTW, when I was internet dating, I caught 40% or so of women lying about their ages. I am a 51 year old man, who used online dating until 2006.  I myself did not lie and had a zero tolerance policy for online lies.

Sorry this happened to you--but it is all too common.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2008
Sun, 06-01-2014 - 11:05am

Oh, that ticks me off.  I've had that happen, too.  I googled the guy after a couple of phone calls and found out he'd cut 8 years off his age. I called him on it and never heard back from him again, which is ok as he was too old for me and a liar to boot.  I think 15 years is too much. In fact, I really would rather date someone within 5 years of my age. I am 53 and in excellent health and shape, and I am not going to take on a much older man with a plethora of health problems. As a health care professional, I see first hand the ailments that most men have after 50 and it isn't pretty.

Sure, women lie too, though I never have personally.  But men seem to have this sense of entitlement that they are always going to have someone younger and hot, when they are old and unattractive themselves.

I don't do OLD anymore, because, frankly, I found it a waste of my time and too stressful. I'd rather enjoy whatever time I have left on this earth, and if I don't meet anyone, so be it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2005
Sun, 06-01-2014 - 6:44pm

I didn't meet this guy online.  I've given up on online dating because people lie about everything.  We actually met when I was checking out a live band at a bar.  But the fact this ass lied TO MY FACE (when he clearly looks his age) and then turns around and says, "Oh I didn't lie."  Then he sent me a text today saying, "Just checking, are you sure you don't want to talk to your old guy BF anymore?"  Like WTF?  We only went on two dates and he's not my freaking boyfriend. I blocked his number.  This dickhead has some nerve!!!!  At least I'm not the only one who has gone through this crap.

Now I'm kind of scared because we live in the same city and I'm afraid he'll start stalking me or some shiz.