men who just stop speaking to you
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men who just stop speaking to you
| Wed, 05-31-2006 - 1:37pm |
Is it common for men to just end relationships and not tell you about it? Like maybe you have an argument and then that's it, you never hear from them again? I was with my boyfriend for 7 months, we had a fight this weekend (saturday) and i have not heard from him since. I even called him and left upset voicemails saying how confused i was about what is going on. I havent checked my phone since yeseterday morning, but as of then, he had not called. He did call sunday night at one am...but i imagine he was drunk. I almost wish i had been awake to take the call...at least then i could have heard what he would have said...do i just start moving on and forget about him? I am not calling again...I have tried...either he will call when he feels like it...or he wont call at i guess?

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my gosh, it's only Wednesday. I'd hardly say that's time enough to say the relationship is over for good. Leave him a message or two, or send e-mail, asking to talk things over. If he doesn't respond after a week or two, then move on.
Msfit
&nbs
I don't know how common it is, but I have had it happen to me, most recently in connection with a 1.5 year LDR. He just stopped talking to me back in November...and it wasn't even after a fight--I thought it was a great conversation, but apparently he had a different view! He finally emailed me to apologize 4 months later but believe me, it was very painful to go through!
I know it hurts to have him disappear (if that is in fact what he's doing)...but honestly, from what you've posted about this guy, I think he'd be doing you a big favor!!!
Sheri
yeah i've basically decided that the relationship is over, but I would like to still speak to him at least once again, you know? It would just be odd for him to never contact me again.
I mentioned that he's getting stationed overseas and he leaves in 3 weeks. We had talked about staying together, me visiting, but no way to that at this point. This relationship is clearly not strong enough to handle that.
I guess i am just different, I have never been mad enought at a boyfriend to not speak to them. I guess i am a talker. There's been times i've been mad at female friends and avoided speaking to them for a bit...but never with someoen i dated...
I understand wanting to talk to him again, but unfortunately that's something HE has to want too, so you may not get what you want.
I think the best thing you can do for yourself is start moving on, hard as it is. If he decides to be an adult and contact you, he knows how to reach you. But don't count on it happening...he's shown you who he really is.
Sheri
Well, I gotta agree with Msfit - it IS only Wednesday, and he DID call Sunday a.m.
If you're gonna ditch the relationship because of a fight and the fact the he took "x" amount of days to call, then I'd say you must not care that much either.
I don't think it is anything inherant in either sex to just not call someone, it would just be an individual's way of dealing....
OK, well the line you just typed, "just got home after being gone 3 months" is pretty telling. Where did he go? Who was he with? Do you count that 3 months in your total of 7?
I'd be willing to bet something changed while he was gone.......especially if he went away after you guys had been dating for only 4 months.....that isn't very long...
'I'd be willing to bet something changed while he was gone....'
maybe he changed, but he and i talked pretty much everyday on the phone. I definitely didnt notice a change in him then. We did argue quite a bit towards the end, but it always ended up being ok and we'd just end up saying how much we couldnt wait to see each other again. The first time i was saw him was last thursday, he was so affectionate, telling me how much he loved me, he'd been waiting for this moment to see me again for so long, wanted to be with me forever...he was drunk though...but he did say these thigns to me sober on the phone. Sat morning we spent a little time together and he was saying the same type of things. We did talk about how difficult it will be when he has to leave again. He's in the air force and is getting stationed overseas. I know now that we wouldnt be able to stay together for that.
Anyways, i just dont see how he could have changed in a matter of a few hours. If he was able to back adn tell me how much he loved me and all that, how is he just not able to speak to me now? He has nothing to say at all? I dont care if he even hates me...he must have words for me. Perhaps he knows that this is killing me and wants to upset me? I just cant imagine that he just stopped caring like that. Maybe i was too overwhelming with how i went off on him. I never thought it would lead to this...i just felt he should know what a jerk he was being for blowing me off to go out drinking again...it was the 3rd night in a row he had placed going out drinking basically over me...now he wont speak to me even though i pleaded with him to let me know what is going on...i havent called him since monday night...he just wants nothign to do with me i guess ):
well many of you have responded to me with my situation for those of you who know it. My 'guy' and i had not spoken for about a week due to me losing my temper and yelling when he basically blew me off 3 nights in a row to hang out with family and get drunk when he and i hadnt seen each other in 3 months (he's in the military).
So on sunday i was feeling really upset. I ended up calling him...i hadnt contacted him since last monday. He didnt answer, i just felt like, forget it. Then he called back...but i missed the call. So then i called him back. He sounded like nothing had really even been wrong. He said that he had been tired of me yelling at him, he had just gotten home, had seen me on 2 different occasions, wanted to spend time with his family. I had apologized for yelling, i was wrong for that, but felt he was also wrong for the way he went about doign things. He said he doesnt think he was wrong. He was like, i love you, i'll always love you, then asked if i was still going to that wedding with him (next week) i said, no. I told him i dindt think we were ever goign to speak again and made other plans (which is true) he was like, fine whatever. He continued to say how things didnt seem to go well when he was away for those 3 months, now in 2 weeks he'll be going overseas for a year, even farther away. He said he does not want to break up completely, wants to stay in contact, but that i seemed so unhappy and he doesnt want me to be unhappy.
He ended up coming over, spent the night, then we spent all day together yesterday...things seemed normal. But then he said that we probably should not spend everyday together for the 2 weeks that he is home. He said that will just make it harder when it's time for him to leave and that he does have family and friends that he needs to see. He seems to have this new found closeness with his family since he's been home...when he and i were together before he left he wasnt spending nearly as much time with them as he seems to be now. I'm not saying it's bad that he's spending lots of time with them now...but i guess i felt like he was using them as an excuse to not hang out with me...He said i should be supportive of him spending time with them. He showed me a scrapbook he had made while he was away...there was a big picture of he and i in it which i thought was cute...he just seems to be detaching himself from me. I guess that is for the best. HE said he watched that movie the notebook on sat night and that it reminded him of me...i really do feel so helpless in this situation. I know i shoud be mad at him for what happened last week. He said he was suprised i didnt call again all week, i asked why would i??? I asked if he was ever going to call me again, he said he would have, but he also was wondering if he should just end things now before he left.
I dropped him off last night at his work at 5pm...he told me he'd call me that night, but he didnt. So at 9:30 i called him...he said he was with his family sitting aroudn the table and could he call me back. I just said that i was going to bed, he said he'd call me tomorrow
I feel better knowing that he doesnt hate me...but this is just a hard situation...i do wish he wasnt leaving...but he is.
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