My Crush a liar? Venting

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
My Crush a liar? Venting
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 1:21pm

Ok those of you familiar with my last post I had a crush on a guy (we worked together) to find he was just NOT that into me by the time he left the company. All in all he seemed nice enough and man did the truth hurt. . Well on Friday he stopped by my job per my bosses request I guess they needed him, and instead of instantly feeling drawn I felt a little uncertain. There was an incident at work last we saw of each other that involved him and I and turned into a lot of he said-she said by others. He and I never got a chance to speak about exactly what happened. So maybe I was uncertain at how he would treat me. I walked in and found him with a colleague and I said hi feeling a little surprised and asked how he was. He smiled back exchanged the small talk, and as my colleague left he asked me again how I was and hung at my desk. I made a joke regarding the issue and he caught on and laughed a little short.

After he didn’t really speak to me he’d pass my desk and point at me but stayed in his office. About an hour before leaving he comes out and says “Hey I’d like to speak to you about that drama”. I was ready/ waiting and welcomed it hence we never spoke. He went on to say what he had heard and when I moved to say something he said really firm “let me finish”; surprised me because I didn’t expect him to be that way. I picked up on when it was my turn to speak and I did. It was clear to us both, others turned the issue into something bigger yet he didn’t seem to respond to what I was saying. As in though he and I were the ones involved his version of what happened was different from mine. I felt almost as if he was saying without saying it, I must have forgot what really happened. And further I started thinking maybe what everyone was saying about him WAS true.

If any two stories should have been the same it should have been his and mine. He seemed pleased when I mentioned I stuck up for him and accepted my apology (I apologized for the confusion and what he may have been thinking I did/ didn’t say- I hate he –said-she-said and hated more that I was involved). But then I thought wait WTH am I apologizing for and he accepting so easily. We worked on different teams and in our chat together he was very upset and I understood because he was being called awful things, which he admitted to me he told his team after he left not to help us out, not to do any favors because we’re all a bunch of liars. He started getting detailed about what my team mates really are, calling names; and while doing so he’d say “not you, I’m saying them”. And right then I started feeling sick at myself for being attracted to this man. I felt that “not you, them” is because he was talking to me otherwise I am “them”. In the end he still helped me when asked and I made sure to throw in he’s going against his advised rule to his old team and he laughed. He walked out with one of his old coworkers, left for the night/ever and didn’t say bye or look my way.

The conversation totally confirmed if I EVER thought he liked me I was wrong. And it also made me sad for being so dumb. As he was leaving he was speaking to someone from his old team about other people in their group and making fun of them, I was just so turned off and disappointed that a part of me feels there’s truth to what people are saying he did. And now I feel like blah and wondering why I always seem to want guys that don’t want, compliment my personality, or fit my beliefs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2010
Mon, 03-01-2010 - 10:02pm

Well to me it sounds like good news because now that you've seen a side of him you don't like maybe you won't feel bad any longer that he's not that into you either.

I don't know your history but to me any guy you start going