My Feeling

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2010
My Feeling
Wed, 02-03-2010 - 2:08pm

I have been with my bf for almost 2 yrs, and I am 26, he is 29.

We were together after 2 months we knew each other, and be honest, I had no feeling on him at all at that time, but he kept caring me and helping me. So I gradually liked him, and became his gf.

We do enjoy most of time being together, shopping, moving, laughing, cooking... together, and we always share responsibility together. Although there were unhappy moments sometimes, I think it is common in all rela.

Since last year, I decided to buy an unit in apt, so he was also busy checking info on webs, went to see the unit with me together, giving me suggestions.... I really appreciate his help, and we were really happy also.

I know guys are scared of commitment, so I did not talk about engagement or marriage stuff with him after we have been together for 1 yr and a half. I can not wait for him infinitely, cz I did see some cases that some girls waited for their bfs for several years for commitment, then their bfs finally left them for younger girls or other girls. I will not take such risk, although I do fall in love with him. Although we have not talked about marriage seriously, I can obviously feel that he is not eager for that as I am, even though he did not reject. We are now still together cz we do have deep feeling on each other.

This morning, he said "It's time for us to make things clear, it's our fundamental problem" (he mean about marriage). I said "Ok. How do you want to discuss it?" He said he wants 1 week during which we will not meet and not talk, but we write down all problems that may come across and solutions. I said I would think about it. But I feel as if I am pushing him to marry. He said "not talk", I think he may try to be far from me in terms of feeling.

He said he loves me so much, and I can feel that. But Why he does not want to have a family with me together? It is easy to say "love" to anyone. I sometimes feel confused myself: is he pretending? (Please do not talk about if the cow is free, who will buy milk? that is NOT our case.)

He said no matter whether we get married, he will always care me and help me. I think this can be true, or can be bullxx. Emotion and feeling are the most precious things in the world cz nobody can use anything to buy true emotion and feeling for other ppl; however emotion and feeling are also easy to change.

What I feel worst is not marriage, I feel he may think I am begging him to marry. I dont know for sure, completed uncomfortable feeling.