Need Opinions

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2008
Need Opinions
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 4:11pm

Can there be men who are truely afraid of being with someone they know is good for them?? Would they by-pass the obvious better choice for someone they know they dont care for? By-pass someone they know there is a chance of real love and happiness for someone they know there is isnt?

Will men really sabatoge themselves because they are afraid to take that risk of possibly falling in love with someone, and instead chose to be with someone they know they dont love and is only chosing them because they are the easy route, meaning no risk involved.

if these men do exsist, what we do? Give up and move on? Wait and see if they come to their senses?

When two people love eachother but they cant get the Sh** straight, when do you get to that point when enough is enough??


Thanks for reading and looking forward to responses.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
In reply to: toufu
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 5:12pm

Yes I'm sure there are men who are truly afraid, but it's usually due to some serious trauma... I don't like using the term "commitment-phobe" lightly because when a man avoids a serious relationship, it's usually because he just doesn't want one, not because he is genuinely afraid.

I would move on from a man who wasn't willing and eager to be in a relationship, if a relationship is what you want. Dealing with a guy who would choose someone else, why bother? Why put yourself through the trouble? If you aren't worth it to him, why is HE worth it to YOU?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
In reply to: toufu
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 5:33pm

Yes, anything is possible, people Am Be Crazy.

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
In reply to: toufu
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 7:21pm

Hmmmmm....this woman is the "obvious" better choice? This is obvious to whom?

You talk of the "chance of real love", but I think he just doesn't see her as being the kind of women who he wants to spend a lifetime with.

It's great that this woman thinks highly of herself and what she has to offer a relationship. Low self esteem is a turn off. But she also needs to accept that not everyone perceives a situation in the same way.

I guess fear of love is possible. But I think it's unlikely. Instead, I'll lay money the reality is that this is simply a situation of unrequited love.

What do we do in this situation? The only choice is to move on. For whatever reason, he's not into this girl. She has no choice but to accept that she's NOT the one for him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
In reply to: toufu
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 9:49pm



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: toufu
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 7:18am

I'm sure there are both men and women who are afraid to get close to anyone. Who is to say that this woman is the best person for him? Obviously he doesn't think so or he would want to be with her. You don't say how old these people are, so maybe he's to young to want to get into a serious relationship with anyone.

The time to move on is now. Why keep waiting hoping he'll change his mind. Find someone who is going to want to be with you from the get go.

As for two people loving each other. Well, two people can love each other, but that doesn't mean they are in love with each other. To me, those are two different things.

july4.gif picture by nhgal2006

“Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love,
a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”
Mother Teresa

28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
In reply to: toufu
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 2:08pm

If you substitute "men" for "people" I'd have to answer "yes".

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2007
In reply to: toufu
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 7:10pm

I believe women attract men that is