No contact rule....

Avatar for sweettartnacho
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2006
No contact rule....
Tue, 02-11-2014 - 4:19pm

He said he needed space.   I really do not think there's someone else in the picture.   He's a widower of just over a year & is definitely having a hard time.   I think that is what he means.  

Along w/needing space, he wasnt cutting it off with me, he made it clear - just said we needed to go much slower.  

It's been a month of no contact now.  I do have a stubborn streak, as does he, so I swear I will not give in to contact him, unless he contacts me & then Im not sure how to handle it.  Have the feeling it'll be a text, but, who knows, it might be a phonecall, in which case, Im not sure if I will pick up.

Wondering what do guys think re: no contact?...after a month.  He probably totally has expected that Ive moved on.   I am moving on, but still keep an ear out for him.

Would the tables be turning, actually, and the fact that I wont contact him - sorta give me the more control?   Might he be a little peeved that Ive not contacted him?   

Do you think he'll come back?  ... esp given that he wasnt rejecting me - just wanting to go much slower (knowing I would date others - not sure about him).  I do know the loss of his wife is making it VERY hard for him, but....

I dont know - guess I want a guy's opinion, altho I guess I can never know for sure what he's thinking, nor what will happen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2010
Wed, 02-19-2014 - 12:48pm

as a guy, I had a recent experience with this except it was the lady who cut off the contact. originally, she was madly in love with me and all the rest. I had other issues to deal with first so romance was the last thing I was going to concentrate on and I made that clear to her. she had a drama queen personality (she admitted this). so one day she breaks up our friendship via email and alleges that I was screening her phone calls. I replied that I have not been screening anyones phoen calls and did not know what she meant. so she eventually called me after she read the email and the audio in the voicemail was broken up excpt for the last part. the last part said if I want to respond to her voicemail fine. if I don't thats fine too. I decided not to respond and I have moved on. if someone breaks off the contact for whatever reason then I move on. granted, I am very aware the context of my situation sort of differs from yours. i mean, in my scenario, the lady sent me an email breaking up the friendship. she was really direct. that was not your scenario. in both cases, I have the personality where I would just move on. but if she contacted me I would probably make polite conversation with her.