Not his fantasy girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Not his fantasy girl
14
Wed, 02-29-2012 - 12:10pm

I'm really upset. I found a paper today dated this month of this year that my boyfriend wrote and it was all the things he wanted in a girl, his "fantasy" girl. Well the girl is totally opposite of me, he wants a blue eyed blonde girl and I'm brown eyed brunette.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 02-29-2012 - 3:37pm

Stephanien, there's two different things we need to look at here.

First up, very few of us are probably our partner's fantasy partner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Thu, 03-01-2012 - 11:23am

Ok that makes me feel better.

He writes down random things on paper all the time. One time he even wrote down his favorite kids names if he ever had a kid and we compared it with the names I like. He writes down finances and just all kinds of stuff when he's bored at work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 03-01-2012 - 5:34pm

Steph, I'd be talking

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Fri, 03-02-2012 - 11:22am

if she was snooping she can;t really bring it up.

I'm like you, my fantasy guy would be amazingly like George Clooney. My SO is not. I wouldn't trade him for anything!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Fri, 03-02-2012 - 11:29am
The way I brought it up was that I was hurt and upset at the posters he has up in his closet of nearly naked blonde women that I have to see every day because my clothes are in there.

We had a big fight over it and he thought it was dumb I was angry over that because they are just posters, but we are moving to a new place soon and I told him when we move they are not allowed up.

Although I think he lied to me that he doesn't like blondes. I know he does because he wrote it down! But he lies to my face? I mean I know it's not an important issue it's just the fact that he can't be honest and say "Yeah I like blondes." Maybe he doesn't want to say that to hurt my feelings but I'm already hurt so why can't he just admit it instead of denying it.

Someone else mentioned to me that he probably had it hid in his wallet because he didn't want me to see it and worry or get upset by it. Well of course I would...maybe it does just mean nothing. Still makes me wonder why he'd be writing this at work, even if he was bored, and then keep it around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Fri, 03-02-2012 - 11:34am

well, men are odd creatures :)

I hope he listens to you and it works out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Fri, 03-02-2012 - 11:37am
Thanks! Well after our fight he did say sorry and that he only wants me and that he would take the posters down once we move. So that's progress.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Fri, 03-02-2012 - 11:41am

That's good compromise - new place, fresh beginning :)

I am completely not my SO's type, physically, but the rest is so much more important. I'm not tall and thin, I'm short and curvy, He would prefer tall and curvy, too bad!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2006
Fri, 03-02-2012 - 12:05pm
Exactly! Plus I realized well he may not have all the qualities in a fantasy guy I'd like either so I can say things too lol.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 03-02-2012 - 5:03pm

I too wonder why he'd be writing this down.

But I also wonder how you came about finding a piece of paper which was hidden in his wallet.

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