Not sure I'm good at dating like a man

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2009
Not sure I'm good at dating like a man
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 2:29pm

So, long story short.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 6:35pm

"I do want to hook up with him again, but I don't think I'm really over him."
Then I think you should look at the obvious conclusion: Hooking up with him is going to bring you heartache and complication and it's not worth it.

Can I give you my most honest guess at what's going through your ex's mind?
I think he enjoyed the hookup, doesn't want to give you the impression that he wants anything further (possibly fed you a load of BS about a "sick family member" to get you off his back), but is weirded out by the thought of you and Bob hooking up.

"I know guys always say they will call and they dont'"
Not when they really like a girl, or have integrity.

Your ex doesn't really like you.

There's nothing wrong with being "girly" and dating like a man doesn't necessarily mean you run around having casual sex. Casual sex is not appealing for everyone - Both male and female - And even if you want someone sexually, if you can't handle being treated like you don't exist afterward, then casual sex is not for you. And that's completely okay.

Just let the ex go, most people hook up with an ex once or twice in their life for an easy lay (I've done it LOL) but you can't have feelings involved or it gets messy.

Move on to new territory.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 7:24pm

You got in touch with him because you wanted some fun, so that's what he gave you. It sounds like it's just sex for him. I don't think you should get your hopes up with him. Move on, try to find someone who will want you more than just for sex.

As for him calling "Bob" all night, he probably just didn't like the idea of the two of you together. Probably figured because he wasn't around, that you'd have some fun with Bob instead.

Do you have other friends you can hang out with? A different group than who he knows? That's what you need.

You wrote: I do want to hook up with him again, but I don't think I'm really over him. Why would you want to hook up with him again.


I used to believe in forever,
but forever was too good to be true.
Winnie the Pooh

28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2007
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 8:08pm
He just wants sex. That is it. He could care less about you. If a guy cares he calls. He also doesn't treat you like something that needs scraped off the bottom of a shoe. Do you enjoy being treated this way? I'd rather be alone. Stop making it somthing it isn't like this is how guys date or your a girlly girl. It's just plain sex and he is using you for only that
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2009
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 9:20pm

Unfortunately, the sex is really really good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 10:18pm
Okay his mom having cancer, that is legitimate and I would feel sorry for anyone in that position. However, be careful to not let those feelings of empathy for another human being in a trying situation affect your feelings for him, or allow you to accept behavior you normally wouldn't from someone else. His situation with his mom is completely separate from his situation with you (my boyfriend and I have both dealt with parents having cancer). No matter what is going on, treating you like you don't exist is ice cold. It shows that making you feel like nothing is a priority to him. You know, if all he wants is sex then that's fine, that's what you were after too, but he's really going out of his way to show you (rather than say it out loud) that you do not matter to him. That, just by itself, may help you to get over him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2009
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 10:41pm
you're rapidly turning yourself into a booty call
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2009
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 11:00pm
Well, hey, this started out as me booty calling him.