Not sure what happened or what to do next

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2007
Not sure what happened or what to do next
6
Thu, 03-24-2011 - 11:46am

First let me say, I am over 40 and fairly new to dating.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 03-24-2011 - 12:57pm

Why do you need to contact him? It's like you need more of an explanation that he already gave you. Is it going to make a difference? Really?

I hate to say it but relationships that start out this quickly tend to unfold exactly as this one did. This is just something men do when they have a lot of baggage - They lead a woman on with all the right words, get close, have sex, and then suddenly get cold feet. He's afraid. I've seen this pattern over and over and over. The men don't snap out of it.

So truly, you're not going to get the answers you want. There's no good way to explain why he's doing this, and he's so lacking in self-awareness, any explanation he could give you would be even more confusing.

The bottom line here is that when a man with a healthy life, who is ready for a relationship, meets a woman he really wants to be with... He does everything it takes to make that happen. He doesn't disappear. He doesn't need more time, or more space. He doesn't need to cool things down (because an intelligent man would get to know a woman before making commitments to her).

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2007
Thu, 03-24-2011 - 9:49pm

I want to know what happened. Maybe it won't make a difference but if there was a misunderstanding..... I wanted this to work, I still do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2008
Thu, 03-24-2011 - 10:22pm

walk away...dont call text email anything walk away.whatever the reason it is its his issue to deal with not yours to fix. I would be pissed there is nothing wron with being pissed I would have let him know that. Again do not contact him he doesnt deserve it. he should have not ignored you the way he did if he wanted to end it he should have just done that not treated you that way

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 12:23am

>>Why is it so wrong to let someone know that you do care and am willing to at least try to understand what happened?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 8:52am

It's not "wrong". But you'll feel like an idiot when you push him to talk, spill your feelings, and either get no response, or the response you really don't want to hear. I'm trying to get you to protect your own feelings from the pain of rejection. You already know he doesn't want you. It would be masochistic and desperate to worsen this pain that must be difficult enough already.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 9:35am

I'm going to have to agree with crab here.

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