Ok....Now I know why?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2004
Ok....Now I know why?
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 10:42am

Just thought I should follow up to a post from 2 weeks ago regarding a nice guy I met online…..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 11:14am

I hope you realize (and I think you do) that being the wrong person for him specifically doesn't mean there is anything actually wrong with you.

It's disturbing when people are so tied to certain sexual fetishes that they can't get turned on by anything else. That's a problem. Thankfully, it's not YOUR problem now.

I think your anger is totally justified and understandable. Hopefully you block him and never speak to him again! Thanks for updating, it's always good to know how situations like these turn out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-09-2009
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 12:54pm

Glad to hear that you did the right thing, the only sane path at that point.

My children and I have discussed their mother who projected her problems on others.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 2:23pm

I'm seeing this from a different perspective.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 2:56pm
PS: I do agree that he is not placing the blame on you. You're not the right girl for him, that's a fact, it doesn't mean you're to blame. Maybe his tone of voice was different than what you conveyed here but simply telling you that he needs someone different from you isn't blaming you for anything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2009
Fri, 01-29-2010 - 6:27pm

so in the end, it's all about you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 12:08pm
Just remember she wrote the short version of the story. I'm glad you are not in a relationship with this guy anymore. I guess he was right up front with you and that was good. Try not to take it to heart of some of the things he said. Sounds like he does have a mental issue to me. Thank God he didn't get hurt in the process.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 1:43pm

I don't see anything there where he is blaming you for anything. He realized that the two of you are not compatible sexually. Nothing wrong with admitting it. He's into rougher, kinkier sex than you, and that's ok.

Don't spend much time thinking about this. Move on. Find someone who will have the same likes and dislikes.


I used to believe in forever,
but forever was too good to be true.
Winnie the Pooh

28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Mon, 02-01-2010 - 7:35pm

While the others who said at least he was honest about what he likes and that he was just telling you that he thinks you're not physically compatible have a point...it sounds to me like he said more and he said it in a way that was insulting and rude.

It's perfectly fine to not be sexually compatible with someone. That's all he had to say. Instead, he went into detail and explained all the reasons why you're not right for him...I think that does cross over into the "blaming you for his problems" territory.

You dodged a bullet with this one, trust me.

And PS: human sexuality is hugely varied and people get turned on by lots of different things. You went out with someone who liked something that did not do it for you. It is way better (for both of you) to have figured that out now, rather than later, again, trust me.