petite women

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
petite women
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 11:43am

I look at women in the media and they look amazing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 11:51am
Just be happy with who you are as a person. It's shallow to be so concerned with how you look. Beauty fades over time.There's more to a person then looks. Once you get beyond the looks, what is there left if you have nothing else to offer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 2:33pm

Well, I'd argue that no one is "naturally obese" without a serious medical issue that really needs to be fixed.

I'm 5'7" and 140 with a very muscular build, A-cup boobs, and large hips/thighs. I don't look like a barbie doll either. I've also suffered from body dysmorphia after losing a lot of weight, and I feel similarly that I just don't look EXACTLY the way I want to.

Let me ask you something: Are you this hard on other people? If you're anything like me, you have unrealistic standards for the way you look at yourself, but could care less about what other people look like, you don't judge other people for the way they look but feel insecure in your own body. Am I close?

As for butt, you either have it or you don't. You're not going to grow another foot. There's very little about your appearance that you can change without surgery, and even if you did, my honest guess is that you wouldn't be happy. Women tend to continue getting plastic surgery forever because there is never "good enough". That's because happiness and satisfaction are not physical results, they are 100% emotional.

There's a really good book that you may want to read called Psycho Cybernetics. It's written by a pioneer in the field of self-esteem named Maxwell Maltz, and the book has been around for a long time. Dr. Maltz started out as a cosmetic surgeon and turned to psychology after a long time spent observing the nature of self-esteem and the link between physical attractiveness and happiness. For example, he discovered that a patient with a badly scarred face that was surgically improved would still look in the mirror and "see" the scars that were no longer there. Like how an obese person can lose a lot of weight and still not feel comfortable or happy in her body.

What you look like really has nothing to do with how you feel about yourself. I've found personally that the women who would be considered the most attractive in general terms are also the women who are most critical of themselves. I guarantee that they see flaws in themselves that you or I would not notice.

Anyway that book may help you to understand the power you have over your own brain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 3:18pm

Very very true.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 3:32pm

Hi there. It's easy for me or anyone else to say to please not be hard on yourself, but believe me, it's the hardest thing to do. I, too, am a petite person, 5'2", used to weigh 97 pounds until I needed and received a kidney transplant 2 years ago. When I left the hospital, I was up to 128 pounds. I hated it. Everyone said how good I looked. I am down to 112 pounds and I still don't like it. To me, it's more weight than I am used to. I had been under 100 pounds for at least 30 years. I am not happy with my body, no matter what others tell me. I see me as being overweight.

Back when I was younger, I was a "chubby" (165 pounds)

28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 04-22-2010 - 5:58pm

Tell me, have you nailed the art of dressing to accentuate your good parts and minimise the bits you don't like so much? Thing is, very few of us look fabulous naked....but when dressed in the right clothes, we can look great.

Why don't you have a 'How to look good naked' marathon? Or sit down with Trinny and Susannah for an afternoon. And I'm sure that in the US, there's a heap of 'how to dress' shows that I don't even know about :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2007
Fri, 04-23-2010 - 12:59pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 1:04pm
Blue, I had never heard of Trinny and Susannah until your mention, but I enjoyed visiting their website--love the magic knickers!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sat, 04-24-2010 - 10:06pm
For example, he discovered that a patient with a badly scarred face that was surgically improved would still look in the mirror and "see" the scars that were no longer there.

I'm not surprised in the slightest to hear that this happens - at a more pedestrian and domestic level I've been gathering ideas for redecorating lately and a friend was telling me about her livingroom. I sat there in it with her, admiring it, and in awe of a decore that looked like it'd just fallen out of a House and Garden magazine. She would point out unfinished items - like how the lightswitch surrounds "didn't match" the rest of the new decor, the rough feathering (edges) to the paint around the edge of the ceiling, how the drapes didn't hang just right, how she'd done most of the picture framing and it was very rough.

I think that humans are just programmed this way - you can get bogged down in the details and you end up forgetting about how the big picture still looks. Be it living room decore or scars or imperfections, we all focus on the minor and the negative and forget how much is positive.

Try asking yourself "What went right?" or "What does look good?" rather than "What went wrong?" or "What doesn't look good?" and you'll invaribly find that there was much more that was positive than negative.