Please give me advice!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Please give me advice!!
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 9:51pm
I met this guy about a month ago and we live about 2 hours away. As soon as we met we hit it off and we have talked everyday for the past month at least 2 to 3 times a day (he always called me throughout the day, even in the morning). He came down and visited 2 weeks ago and everything went great. Last week he moved in with a new roomate and he is attatched at the hip to his friends, but he still made sure to call all the time.

This past weekened I went to visit him and I thought everything was fine, we seemed to have fun. He acted normal and interested.(Although his ex did call at 6 in the morning, they broke up 7 months ago and dated for 3 years)

Well sunday I left and he told me to call him when I got home, I was busy until later that night, so I called him later around 12 and left him a message. It is now tuesday night and I have not heard from him. This is weird because he did not do this before. what should I do? Nothing?, call?, what would I say? PLEASE HELP!!! If this matters: we do have sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-15-2003 - 11:51pm
It seems very odd to me that you would be having sex with this guy and yet not feel comfortable calling and saying "I haven't heard from you - what's up?" - I do have a problem with the degree of calling so early on - there is something to be said for talking every other day in the beginning - maybe a few emails - so that you get to know each other at a reasonable pace - he created this expectation in you of constant calling and so two days must seem like two weeks to you. He probably found the weekend intense, maybe had some things to take care of - who knows - but if you don't feel comfortable calling in these circumstances ask yourself why you're letting him inside your body.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 04-16-2003 - 12:51pm
I don't think there is anything wrong with calling him and saying, "This is the first time since we met that a day has gone by without you calling me...not that I'm being posessive or anything...but has something changed?"

I've been in almost an exact same kind of position with someone I met and hit it off with...we talked every day...had some huge phone bills...e-mailed each other often...sent things in the mail. When we had time to finally be together, there was a little let down because in my thoughts while we were away, I either forgot, or refused to think, that she is just another person with flaws and down times just like myself. Things we did or said that were peculiar to the other one created an immense feeling of failure. What happened was reality was different from my fantasy. My feeling, and hers as well, was, "this person isn't as great as I had made them out to be", then the realization of a $400.00 phone bill and the fact that we won't be seeing each other for another couple of months really too the wind out of our sales. We stopped talking. We don't dislike one another, we just decided that perhaps finding someone we were more excited about that lived closer was a better option.

Hopefully this helps give a new perspective on what might be going on.