The Pseudo-Christian

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
The Pseudo-Christian
16
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 1:26am

Hello all!

I'd like to I suppose vent a bit about a guy that I met recently. Well technically I've known him for about six months or so but I never really spoke to him until a week or two ago. I know him through an activity that we share.

He's really attractive and told me that he had been admiring me for some time. We started talking and exchanged phone numbers. We attend the same university as well and over the last week we hung out quite a lot on campus together.

I am very much NOT a Christian (I prefer to call myself an existential humanist) and from the beginning he told me of the importance of finding a Christian woman whom he could marry. I started to wonder why he was talking to me then since I am not what he's looking for in that respect.

Over the weekend we ended up making out (he begged me to and I didn't really mind). In between all of this he would suggest different Bible chapters to me and share his Christian music. I didn't object because I like to learn different things so I just took it as expanding my knowledge in a way. The last day that we hung out, I was asking him what is forbidden for him to do and I asked specifically about "self-gratification." He said that that was fornication. Yesterday however, we were chatting online and he begged me to see my chest on the webcam. I complied and he showed me his "reaction". In the night, all of a sudden he tells me he wants to have phone sex. I did talk to him on the phone yes but I wouldn't say that I participated much.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2008
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 10:59am

hes a hyppocrate drop him like a bad habit.....hes the weak one...he has this one way of belief yet doesnt follow it...WEAK!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 2:26pm

He's a hypocrite but honestly, it seems like you want to pin all the blame on him when you've really been pretty dense yourself.

It's easy to say: "I started to wonder why he was talking to me then since I am not what he's looking for in that respect."

Is it not the same for you? Why is he the only one who should be actively weeding out those who don't fit him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 3:20pm

The guy sounds pretty confused because people who are seriously religious (I wouldn't limit this to christians) and really want to follow the teachings of their religion then wouldn't so easily get someone to break them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 2:55pm

he told me that he found that I was weak and that I need to remember that guys like a challenge.

That's the problem right there. He is using his Christianity as an excuse not to marry you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 4:42pm


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 4:43pm
musiclover12 wrote:

The guy sounds pretty confused because people who are seriously religious (I wouldn't limit this to christians) and really want to follow the teachings of their religion then wouldn't so easily get someone to break them.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 5:00pm

I suppose also I have certain ideas of how a relationship should be and I feel like also my mother's attitude doesn't make it easy. If i feel badly in any way it's because of her. From the time I mention a guy she would start talking about meeting his family and stuff. I've had 3 guys that had the title of boyfriend : one carried me to met his family (we weren't together long. A couple of months literally); another introduced me to his aunt, a sister and a cousin and the other...well I "knew" his mother before I knew him but that also didn't last long (and I did not sleep with him).

Apart from that, this same guy (pseudo guy) has shown me pics of his family. He's the only guy I've EVER spoken to who has done so and it's just little things like that that make me feel special. It's perhaps a bit sad I know...Not saying he'll ever carry me to meet them or anything like that but still


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Sat, 04-02-2011 - 10:53pm

leetos I think you're deflecting. You understand that your amount of self-respect (or ability to defend it) is not where it should be. So make a change. Don't look at your mom for fault in this, and don't try to convince yourself that this guy is the only one with control over your dating choices... You are an adult and you're in charge of your own dating life. Think about how you're going to change, starting with getting rid of this guy and not looking back on him or who he is. You have to take control and realize that YOU are the one who gets to choose what men to date. You can blame the guy for not being a great guy, but you can't blame him for being the wrong guy for you when you choose to stick around.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2011
Sun, 04-03-2011 - 1:27am

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sun, 04-03-2011 - 1:49am

>>It is true that guys like a challenge. We find a girl sleeping with us right away, not marriage material.

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