REALLY trying but truly Hurting.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2010
REALLY trying but truly Hurting.
14
Tue, 08-03-2010 - 4:03pm

So it has been a total of 10 days actually now that I really count the days since my BF and I broke up. I am sooooooo hurting more than EVER...and I actually at times feel like it backfired on me (the break up, even though he initiated it) becuase I was tired of him always coming back after breaking up then coming back to me just a few days later I always gave in and this time i didnt...Im hurting and missing him so much more than he misses and loves me, that's even if he does.

Today while walking to work I finally accepted the reality that he isnt coming back I almost wanted to just walk back home and crawl in a hole and die. All becuase like the weak person Ive allowed myself to be; these past 10 days without one call or sign from him I still somewhere inside me kept believing he would call or would randomly just show up at my door.

..... Well it hasn't happened and I now realize it wont. Or he would have by now considering he never went past 2 days without contact. After 5 1/2 yrs I finally realize he has truly let me go.

My battle is no longer with him, but with the saddness within that is eating me up alive. I feel hopelessly depressed Im doing all that I can do to live life without him. nothing seems to help. How can a man so easily walk away ..we didnt even break up on decent terms...Im driving myself crazy....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 12:59am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2010
Thu, 08-12-2010 - 3:53pm
well i didnt go thru with the date. I re- scheduled for possibly this weekend I hate to say im weak but I am right now I couldn't bare to do it. I guess ur right these are nothing but head games he is playing. i just hope he is truly miserable even if he is with another girl and the thought of his going crazy thinking im out there with all these guys gives me hope that is really isnt happy with her if he is out there worrying about whom Im with. Right???
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Fri, 08-13-2010 - 8:44am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Sun, 08-15-2010 - 4:44am

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