seems like a boyfriend, but he keeps calling me his friend...
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|Wed, 03-20-2013 - 4:53am|
I wasn't so sure where to post so I decided to start a new discussion. I've been involved with this guy for about 4 months now. He's told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship yet. When I would express my feelings to him, he would say that for him it's like anything... I don't know what that actually means. I'm sensing that it means he really doesn't care if I'm there one way or the other. I've told him that my feelings are there anyway and asked him to be considerate. He's told me he's only been seeing me. He hasn't slept with anyone else since we started.
I know it's crazy to be sleeping together without having an actual relationship but we started out having sex on the first night, and I wouldn't know how to just take it away all of a sudden. The problem now is that I want it to be more than just sex. He comes over sometimes, he invites me to his place sometimes.We've gone out dancing a couple times. It's not always for sex though. He invites me even when he is hanging with some friends of his. We cuddle a lot. We watch movies together.. I noticed when he has extra time, like a day off, or he skips the gym he'll call me to hang with me. He's even come over on weekends to spend the night instead of partying all night like he had been when we first met. He was always always at the strip clubs and bars. He still goees out, and I never complained about him calling me afterwards. I'm actually glad that he calls me at 3am when the parties over, I know I have his attention. He's called me to make personal annoncements like about family things. He sends me music lyric videos of songs that remind him of me. It seems almost as if it was a relationship, but I'm not understanding why he doesn't want the title.
When his friend or a family member calls and he mentions he's with me he always refer to me as his friend. Is he just scared?
Does the boyfriend title really matter? It's weird because I have asked him before if he would like to have me as a girlfriend and he says yes.. but .... then why does he still refer to me as his friend? At some point, a little over a month ago he said he was having some trust issues because of certain people i hung out with that day, (he thought that I might try to set him up.) but this weekend that passed, he says everythings good, that he trusts me again. I would like any advice how to go about the talk I guess. I don't really know what to say.
It's not like I'm not happy with the way things are. I am. It's just weird. Oh and he also mentioned to me he said "why do you think I haven't brought you to family parties? because then people would automatically assume that you're my girl". and I'm like yeah.........it's so confusing.
Also when we first started seeing eachother, like about a month in, a friend of his claimed that I used to go to his house at night. Which is true but it was friendly, non-sexual and it was after work to hang out a little, I've explained this to him and he seems to believe me, but I'm thinking this might be taking a big role in why he won't actually call me his girlfriend.
Could it be he's embarassed what his friend will say? How can I reassure him that I'm not anyone's leftovers, it's very hard to believe in our society today. I know he's used to seeing girls all over the place fooling around with diff guys at the same time, but I'm actually interested in being with him only