spending the night

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
spending the night
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 3:22pm
Ok- I'm not going to tell the whole story, just the backround...I moved into a new apartment Saturday and had a few people come over to see the place before hitting the bars. It ended up being 3 of my girl friends, one of the girl's brother, bill, and a guy I had gone on one date with, jason, and my new roommates. We all went out together, ended up spliting from the roommates, and everyone went different directions to head home, except Bill and Jason So, back at the apartment both guys are sitting watching TV and I am trying to figure out what is going on. I went in my room and Jason came in to "check" on me. I told him I was fine, and b/c I wasn't interested in him I tried to make it known and told him i was very tired. He said he wanted to go get something for me in his car. As soon as he left, Bill told me he wanted us to be alone...at which i laughed at! It was Bill, a guy I had know since we were 10 and graduated high school with and yet never been friends with. I am good friends with his sister who is a year younger than us. Anyway, he told me he was serious and I still wasn't convinced, until he came over and kissed me. So, it was totally unexpected and I am wondering why, but of course only he will really be able to answer that. Anyway, to simplify I convinced jason to go home and Bill stayed the night. We didn't have sex. But I am wondering if this sounds like a one time thing, or if he has feelings for me that may extend beyond that. It's just bizarre that he would be so forward with me, since i am good friends with his sister and we know lots of the same people from highschool but are in different groups. We are both 24 now, so high school is quite a bit removed, but i still don't know what to make of the night. Any opinions out there?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 04-07-2003 - 4:35pm
Wow...that must have been strange. Here's my thoughts. He's probably been interested in you for a very long time since you and his sister have been friends for a long time. My thoughts are that his intentions are genuine and he's not just looking for a one-night thing. I would ask him if he had ever said anything to his sister about you because, apparently, she never said a word to you.

It would be good if he didn't, because it shows that you two can have a relationship without EVERYBODY knowing what going on. It also keeps you and his sisters friendship seperate. However, if things go bad with you and him, it could put his sister in the middle...which isn't good. Plus, you don't want to say too much about him to his sister either...blood is thicker than water, and if he tells you some personal thoughts of his family life and you talk to his sister about it...well, it just could be bad.

In the mean time, if you are attracted to him and want to get to know him better...go for it, but don't go too far until you feel confident with his intentions so that you don't resent things afterwards.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 5:41pm
Can I just say I know how you feel....but add a few more years to my age. I started hanging out with my brother's friend (playing golf) about a year ago. We've known (of) each other for probably 10 years or so....but never really know each other. Let's just say, it was VERY weird to even THINK about anything with him. But, I gave it a shot, and we have tons of fun. And yes, I think that if we ever end it, we'll all be okay (brother, me, and new guy). We're dating now. And well, things are well. =) But, I'm not close to my brother, so that could make a difference.

Good luck, sorry I didn't have any real advice, but know that I'm going thru that right now. It's weird.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-08-2003 - 5:58pm
What.....you had some kind of party where you all split up at the end, and you two took guys home to your apartment that you don't know as true friends/don't like "romantically?

And you're wondering what he wanted?

Hello......you took two guys home, they probably thought you wanted a 3-some. Jason you let it be known to him it was a "no go" - so he left his buddy there to see if he could score.