Slow down Katie, you're rushing this. It's only been a month and that's way too early to be asking his intentions.
Having said that, there are a couple of things you can do:
You can find out what he's looking for in general. Not with you specifically, but generally speaking...is he looking for a bit of fun or looking to settle down? I had this conversation with my hubby the day after we met. It didn't scare him off because he was looking for a relationship.
Exclusivity is something you can ask for if you're sleeping together. Or rather, make sex conditional upon exclusivity. I mean, who wants sloppy seconds? Now, when I speak of exclusivity, I'm NOT talking about commitment or a future together. Again, it's too early for that. I'm simply referring to the two of you not sleeping with anyone else.
I agree with true.blue. You need to slow down a bit. Remember that this guy was ready to marry another woman a little more than 2 months ago. Your heart is probably less inhibited than his right now.
I would consider this "hanging out" until you get the go-ahead from him that there's a serious interest in a relationship. Until that happens, it's okay to accept that you really like him, but don't commit yourself to it. Things may not go in that direction. I strongly believe that the rebounding party needs to be the aggressor, and the other needs to take cues carefully and be wary of moving too quickly.
If you focus on getting to know him again instead of convincing yourself that you need a relationship from him, it might be easier to handle. You don't need to succumb to your emotions but I understand it is tempting. Just try to keep things in perspective.
I have noticed that a lot of the posts on this board, intended to ask men about men, I think, don't get many responses from the guys.
One of the reasons is that men (I am going to really generalize and consider that all men think like I do, so bear with me) don't tend to a) verbalize to the extent that women do, and b) think about the consequences.
Having said that, men really don't think "I am now ready to settle down and have a family and a huge mortgage and change diapers in the middle of the night."
Your post is So so true in my opinion...
Thanks all for the replies... you are absolutely correct, I suppose I used the wrong word when I said I want to know this is serious... I guess I meant, I want to know this is genuine... as in the feelings that are seemingly
Didn't mean to make you lose sleep....
Based on your theory, I'm going to have to try the trench coat and beer thing together....
Basics of Sex
If you are planning the trench coat bring a change of clothes too. Be sure he is the kind of man who will take it well. Sorry, all I can say is that there are women who would make it a challenge or to discomfort the guy.And complain the next day how unreceptive he was.
Then there are women who can exude warm sexuality and liking that incites lust.