Is there such a thing as too soon 4 men

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Is there such a thing as too soon 4 men
3
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 9:55am
Hello All,

Men, if you had a mad crush on a girl since childhood-- would you consider sleeping together within a week too soon (lets say its good and passionate 'love')-- would you change your mind about this girl, etc.. any thoughts?

Bring on your opinions...

Thanks!

B.J.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 10:04am
Clearly I'm misreading your post. If I had a crush on a girl since childhood, I think sleeping together (as in "sex"), while still children is right out.

Perhaps you could add more context to this question? How long did they know each other, how old are they now? What other circumstances brought them back together?

One night stands, mix ups are not limited to strangers. They can happen to childhood friends as well.

Brokk...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 10:14am
ok, sorry-- here is more on the scoop

I moved back to my hometown recently. I knew this guy since about age 15.. he just moved back to this hometown after being away for about 6 years. I never thought about him in a relationship type way-- until the other night something happened between us and he let it out that hes had a big crush on me for the last 10 years and wants to keep me forever.

I dont feel its a mistake however Im cautious regarding love now.. and am afraid to open up fully until i assess the situation a little longer and see if he is this good to be true. He said he would take it slow with me-- Im just worried that i'll do something wrong.. or if we have had sex too soon-- it will bite us in the butt.

It seems he wants to jump right in with me in a relationship-- I would like to as well-- but honestly, I have always been burned and I am scared.

Hope it gives more insight.. B.J.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 03-27-2003 - 10:38am
Thanks! That's much better...

Well, there are no guarantees of success. No matter what you do, you may crash and burn in the end. However, life is all about taking risks, while keeping your eyes open. So my first advice, is to go for it.

The rest of my advice, is for protecting yourself. Starting a relationship does not mean you have to jump right into sex. Start slow. Date. Kiss. Slowly work your way up. Make sure you both enjoy each others company and have things in common. Talk about politics, philosophy, where you want to go with your life. Figure out his values, and share yours. Getting to know people is the *fun* part of the relationship. He has a lifetime of experiences that have shaped him. Find out all about them, while sharing yours with him.

Getting all hot and heavy between the sheets is fun, and has it's own value. However, if you are already shy about being burned, then I wouldn't rush to go there. Everyone needs to proceed at their own pace and comfort level. Don't let him establish that pace. It's your body and you need to respect yourself and set a pace that *you* find comfortable. Whatever it may be...

Brokk...