Told friend about dating her ex!!!

Avatar for roxanne2020
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Told friend about dating her ex!!!
8
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 12:43pm

I told my friend that after much thought, I decided to give it a shot. She was upset and told me that she would never date any of my ex's. And that I lied to her. That she hoped he was worth it. And she wished me luck. That she doesn't need friends like me so bye.


I told her they were before my time, and she's on her 2nd marriage, while I'm still the single one looking, and he might not be worth it but I'd at least like the chance of getting to know for myself.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Fri, 06-04-2010 - 5:10pm

My friends and I have an "ex-BFs are off limits" agreement, so as to protect each other's feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 2:17pm
Why would it hurt?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 9:23pm
I don't know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 9:54pm

This seems to be a way to really defeat the purpose. Why a relationship? Monogamy ? Something is crazy here. It seems that you are saying you want dibs on every man you had sex with. Dating is not a relationship. It is at best a connivence. Some one to take to events and couples things. I like many men have sex with friends they know the score. We set the boundaries. We may have feelings for each other but there are limits.
>> In the sexual union, even if it's serial dating, we seem to want exclusivity and that desire for exclusivity can carry forward muddle up managing past relationships as well. <<

Now you come to the heart of the matter. The question is will you change or will you continue to do the same thing with the same result?

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Avatar for roxanne2020
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2003
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 10:32pm

So you think it depends on the personal situation? My friend dated this man 5 years ago...she is now married to someone else, actually her 2nd marriage. She has talked to me about her past, the only

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sun, 06-06-2010 - 11:52pm
Yes it is a strange thing that one of her castoffs would be so important to her :unless he knows things she would not want to be revealed. Could it be he knows something that if revealed would haunt her? Even if he does not know it. She "used" him for sex. Many men have been over the ages used for sex.
Perhaps his social standing is the issue. Many women have had "woodpile" or "backdoor" lovers who did the deed but were never acknowledged.
The Why may never be known. Just enjoy your life and forget her.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2010
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 2:30am

Photobucket

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 11:50am

Oh, the whole "why her" line of questioning