too fast?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2004
too fast?
Sun, 02-21-2010 - 11:52pm


I met a guy online. We just starting dating at the beginning of February. We've been on three dates so far and all three have been great. Saw each other once every week. Between our dates, we talk on the phone, email and text each other. The issue is that I think we might be moving too fast physically. First date we hugged. Second date, first kiss and we made out kissing. Third date, we went to third base, that is no intercourse yet.

This is not my usual dating scenario. I normally move slow physically but it's so different with this guy. I'm attracted to him intellectually and sexually very early on. We are both 40 years old and I have been in a few long term relationships and he has had many short term relationships. We are still both getting to know each other and I'm not sure if this will lead to anything long term but I surely don't want to lose my chances of anything long term by moving so fast. As I understand it, men don't really see women as long term material if they put out too soon. Yet at the same time I am having fun.

Are we moving too fast? If we are, is there any way I can change the fast course and have things move more slowly? How will this affect his expectations if I want us to move more slowly physically? Will this be a deal breaker?

I'm rambling, but I have so many questions and I would appreciate any insight on this. Thanks so much in advance.

Edited 2/22/2010 3:18 am ET by trustlove8
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: trustlove8
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 7:07am
No one can tell you if you're moving too fast. Only you know that. If you want to slow things down, you need to tell him that. Explain it to him just like you did here.

love.jpg picture by nhgal2006

I used to believe in forever,
but forever was too good to be true.
Winnie the Pooh

28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: trustlove8
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 7:59am